THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Friday morning

From teh Bill Clinton deposition:
Q: Is it true that on the evening of October 23, you were engaged in a romantic liaison with a paramour?
Clinton: That is not true. There was only one.
[C. J. Burke]
Well, you know how much Bill likes to play with the English language....

Thursday morning

President Clinton doesn't need to jog anymore. He gets plenty of exercise backpedaling.
[Dennis G. Fultz, dgf221@mail2.theonramp.net]

The Green Bay Packers are trying to recruit Bill Clinton for next season. After all, he has a better percentage of completed passes than Brett Favre.
[anonymous]

And now, President Clinton's thought as he watches the Americans compete in Nagano, Japan:

• "Don't you love how those itty bitty skirts the figure skaters wear fly up when they twirl?"
• "How can I get Picabo Street to Pennsylvania Avenue?"
• "If Hillary was our Goodwill Ambassador to the Games, she'd be away for two whole weeks...."
• "I'd like to warm her up in the hot tub."
• "What? None of our figure skaters are 18 yet?"
  [C. J. Burke]

Wednesday morning

[From: RLewis8837@aol.com]
I heard that after 37 visits from Monica, Bill has had more kneelings than the Pope.
Question for the First Lady and Jimmy Carville, is it a "Right-Wing Conspiracy" or a "West-Wing Conspiracy"?

[From: lee, lee1011@enter.net]
Q: What Hillary said when she was told of the Monica Sex scandel?
A: "Better her than me."

[From: Bill Feeney, bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com, edited]
Army Sgt. Major McKinney, a married man alleged to be a sexual predator who would demand sex and later plead with the women to cover up his conduct, faces 19 charges including obstruction of justice, assaulting an officer, indecent assault, maltreatment of a subordinate and adultery. If convicted he faces loss of rank and 55 years in prison.
The most serious charge facing McKinney, however, is impersonating the Commander-in-Chief.

[More to come -- er, so to speak]

Tuesday afternoon

Given Bill Clinton's alleged appetites, and gravity defying poll numbers, he's been compared to the Energizer Bunny.... with his batteries installed backwards. (Think about it.)
[David Hill, thehills@tidalwave.net]

Tuesday morning

Monday morning

The Top Four Banned Songs in the White House

4.I Just Called to Say I Love You, S. Wonder.

3.The Bitch Is Back, E. John.

2.Part-Time Lover, S. Wonder

1.I'm Still Standing, E. John (think about it.)
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

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