Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.
Friday, July 9, 1999
The Top Five Reasons Why Clinton May Skip the Women's Soccer
Game
5. He'd rather go see that volleyball tourney
on the nearby nue beach.
4. He's planning on attending back-to-back
screenings of "American Pie".
3. No scantily-clad cheerleaders.
2. Goalie announced "Keep that rapist president
away from us!"
1. He doesn't like the way the ladies kick the
balls.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Thursday, July 8, 1999
A trial balloon was floated last week, and then quickly deflated, that impeached president Clinton would follow Andrew Johnson's lead and run for a Senate seat after his term in office expires.
Here are the
Top Five Reasons Why Bill Clinton Will NOT
Run for the Senate
5. Didn't want to hear, "Look,
there goes another impeached president running for Senate.
4. He'd have to find a shack in Little Rock to
call his own to establish residency.
3. Senate pages not as cute and chunky as
White House interns.
2. Senate compensation rules unreasonably restrict
the amount of bribes he can accept for selling out America.
1. Extremely remote chance that he'll be stuck
inside the Beltway again with Hillary.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Wednesday, July 7, 1999
The president of the NEA yesterday called the First Lady a "national
treasure", which is appropriate considering that in her upcoming Senate
race, she's going to get buried.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Tuesday, July 6, 1999
Impeached President Clinton has given his wife permission to attack
him if she needs to to secure herself a Senate seat somewhere.
A spokeswoman for the First Lady replied, "Hillary has never needed
permission to attack Bill, only enough room to throw a lamp."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Monday, July 5, 1999
Click here for an important note.
This page, and all the pages it has links to, are Copyright 1996-1999 Christopher J. Burke. All rights reserved.