THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Hillary TALKs, Monica Flips and Bill's Trapped Between Two Women!

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, August 6, 1999


Hillary's Big State Coalition for Better Tax Distribution

While on her Listening Tour, Hillary Clinton announced that big states like New York, California and Illinois do not receive federal aid proportional to the amount that they pay in taxes and something has to be done.
The Joke-of-the-Day Page has come up with some great slogans to help her effort.
Tax Breaks for the Rich States!
No More Redistibution of State Wealth!
Screw the Poor States!
End State Welfare As We No It!

[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

One might also ask if states should get back in proportion, down to the decimal point as some argue, to what they send to Washington,
then why bother sending the money there in the first place?
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Thursday, August 5, 1999


Trapped Between Two Women

Hillary blames Bill's misbehavior on an argument between his mother and grandmother. Which one wanted to discipline him for constantly lying? We know that's the one who lost the argument.
[Bill Feeney, bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings, (delete NOT to email)]

Wednesday, August 4, 1999


Physical Passion

The White House has released a statement that the impeached president and his wife have regained the physical passion in their marriage.
Lord help us if they decide to release a "Position Report".
[Philip D. Steffen, phil@psteffen.com]

Tuesday, August 3, 1999


Monica's Turn

Oh, what a busy weekend it was . . .

Did you hear what happened to Monica?
I hear she blew a tire.
[unknown caller on a talk radio station 8/2/99]

Monica Lewinsky rolled her SUV over this past weekend.
Sources say that she was on her cell phone with Bill.
She was barking like a dog, when Bill told her, "Roll over! Roll over!"
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Someone should tell Monica Lewinsky that her head is supposed to stay above the dashboard unless the guy's doing the driving.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Monday, August 2, 1999


Hillary TALKs

Oh, where to begin! What a weekend for news!

Hillary Clinton revealed in an interview with Talk Magazine that she thought her husband had conquered his infidelity problems. But, in fact, he "didn't go deep enough or work hard enough".
Maybe it's just me, but isn't that the definition of his infidelity problems?
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

She also went on to refer to the impeached president as "a hard dog to keep on the porch".
And what breed of dog would that be? A whoremongrel, perhaps?
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

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