THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Elvis, House Hunting, Johnny Chung, Al Gore Grasping at Iowa Straws
and Listening
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, August 20, 1999
Hillary's Listening Tour
Does anyone beside me think that it's odd that on
Hillary's "Listening Tour", she seems to talk more than
listen. And because the campaign visits are "invitation only",
she is literally only hearing what she wants to hear.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Thursday, August 19, 1999
Al Gore After Iowa
The Top Five Things Al Gore Did After the Iowa Straw
Poll
5. Started to a list of candidates that even he
thought
that he could beat -- and then made a paper airplane instead because the
paper was blank.
4. Called Lamar and asked him to reconsider.
3. Promised to send Alan Keyes a contribution if
he'd bash Bush.
2. Arranged another "community outreach" fundraiser
-- for Dan Quayle!
1. Removed all the political flyers nailed to the
back of his head!
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Wednesday, August 18, 1999
Chung
Now that Johnny Chung has confessed that the Democrats told
him how to plead the Fifth Amendment before their committee, the
Republicans have to come up with a proper response to the charges.
Here are the Top Five Republican Responses to Johnny
Chung.
5. Make Chung make equal illegal contributions to
the RNC.
4. Make him take the money from the Democrats first.
3. Send him on a "listening tour".
2. Make the Democrats on the committee sit through
a nine-hour marathon of prior State of the Union speeches.
1. Impeach Clinton. Again.
[C. J. Burke]
Tuesday, August 17, 1999
The Elvis President
Yesterday was the anniversary of the death of Elvis Presley.
Here are the Top Five Differences Between Bill Clinton
and Elvis Presley
5. One of them actually served in the Army.
4. One was known as "the Pelvis", the other
was a rock and roll singer.
3. TLC means "Tender Loving Care" not
"Treasonous Lying Clinton".
2. Elvis only sang about a hound dog . . .
1. Elvis was the King, Clinton just
thinks he is.
[C. J. Burke]
Monday, August 16, 1999
House Hunting
Bill and Hillary were house hunting in Westchester, NY over the
weekend, trying to find a new cozy home in the one to two million
dollar range.
Meanwhile, friends of the Clintons are considering an all-star
concert to help pay their legal bills.
[C. J. Burke]
The house that the Clintons checked out over the weekend reportedly
has seven bedrooms. A spokesman for Clinton says the impeached
president is looking forward to trying them all out.
[C. J. Burke]
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