(I wrote this before I had my final meeting with the superintendent,
where he graciously allowed me to resign in lieu of dismissal, insuring
that I would remain on the payroll until my leave runs out, and making
me eligible for substitute shifts in the future. He is a very compassionate
man. Some of this may seem like sour grapes, but it is an honest account.)
As you are aware, I am being dismissed by Texas School for the Blind for using my supervisor's office computer to access the internet during my security shift on 4 listed occasions. The circumstances I hope you will consider are as follows:
1. My boss and I have had several informal discussions in the past year regarding my concerns about "burn-out." The job of security guard is extremely mundane and at times tedious and I have found that unless I can occupy my overactive imagination with productive pastimes, I experience mild to moderate depression. For several months, I have been undergoing formal therapy sessions (and lots of over the counter herbs - St. J.) for this condition, which is related to, but not exclusive to my work and career situation. One solution I proposed was a change in schedule to half-time that would free me up to sub in other departments, but it never materialized.
2. I take my job very seriously, and I enjoy the high level of responsibility and low degree of supervision involved. No-one has questioned my dedication to the job and my devotion to the staff and students, who will no doubt vouch for my effectiveness and conscientiousness in performing my security duties. Many undefined aspects of the job have surfaced during my tenure, and I have willingly and gladly taken on many extra tasks on a daily basis that do not necessarily fall under the job description. I have been of assistance, for example, in countless maintenance emergencies, and I have covered positions in almost every non-instructional department on campus. I have subbed in the dorms, and since June I have been working a 16-hour double shift on Mondays to help cover for an ailing overnight security staff member. I also assisted informally in the production of this year's musical and graphic yearbooks. (...a team player like you wouldn't believe- ed.)
3. During the first year of my TSB job, I was introduced to the internet by a senior staff member who encouraged me to use their workstation, ostensibly to access security-related information (weather, law-enforcement, etc.). I believe this was a positive, constructive decision based on their recognition in me as someone who would benefit from the information available on the web. Since that time, I have developed an avid interest, and purchased my own laptop computer, which I have used to start several of my own websites and revive a dormant writing skill. I graduated from St. Edward's (Summa Cum Something - ed.) with a degree in "Writing" in 1991. I am interested in a career in media communications, and I highly value the skills I learned initially from access to this esteemed educational facility's hardware.
4. Since the first disciplinary write-up in 1996, I have made a sincere effort to refrain entirely from using school equipment for personal use. The rare times I have disobeyed this directive have been very brief, with the unquestionable permission and blessing of the workstation user. I scanned a couple of photos onto my own disc, and I checked the appearance of my webpage on a color screen. Though different from the State, my moral belief is that absolutely no harm is done by the occasional use of a State computer to access or transfer information for personal use. (a privilege of the State employee - 2nd ed.) I also completely disagree with any assertion whatsoever that these instances constitute a "neglect of duties." There are many ways that I have found to while away the abundance of "downtime" during my shift, but in the eyes of the state, as interpreted to me by ex-military admisistrators, security guards are not to so much as read a paper or a book (or polish their boots - AE) on the clock. I believe this to be an unrealistic expectation of a bureaucracy completely out of touch with the reality of the job.
5. Until recent events, there has been a misleading atmosphere of tolerance regarding the use of state computers. I was provided with access to several workstations and was led to believe it was okay to use them occasionally. After it was made clear to me recently that my bosses' office was off-limits and sensitive legal documents were being processed on her PC, I refrained entirely from using it.
6. I admit to checking the history logs in my supervisor's Netscape browser. This was after she had posted a sign declaring her office off-limits, but she continued to share her password with me. When I found that the password had changed, I used the password "security" because I did not wish to hide the fact that I had logged on. I had been told it was possible to log on as a guest, a fact of which she was obviously not aware. I was merely investigating her question about another unauthorized user. Because she had made the discovery by accident, I assumed that she was not even aware of this log program and I was honestly trying to help get to the bottom of the mystery, as well as clear my own name. I told her specifically about my findings, and I am quite certain I told her I logged on as a guest. (Is it in my report? Probably not.) Resetting this log was a grave mistake, an impetuous click of the mouse which I believe compromised her trust in me, a crucial aspect of the job. (but it's less fishy than it sounds, trust me - RI)
7. I realize that I am no longer the right person for the security job. I am also aware of the serious legal and liability issues that could arise from my poor judgment and behavior during the shifts in question. I am involved in an ongoing job search at the moment, for a career in a field that I hope will more effectively utilize my communication skills. I have been working temporarily for a real estate firm downtown since leaving the school. My boss is Miles Zuniga's big sister Diana who owns and offices in the Electric Lounge building. I have worked on and off for her for years, and she is always incredibly gracious. After the trip, I plan to test the waters a variety of temporary jobs until I find a rewarding field to dive into for the long term.
8. I hope to continue subbing in all departments at the school, and I love the job. The worst part about being "maytag repairman" is the solitude, and I have always wanted to work more closely with the students and other staff, who get to leave campus on field trips and enjoy more variety of activities. (I used to joke: "It would be a great job if it weren't for all those staff and students" - ed.)
9. Check out the My Bad liner notes dedication. I guess I knew I wouldn't work there someday.
Ron Impala
cc: Willy Loman
cc: Felonious Funk
cc: DJ Mina Playa