Answers
Most of these were culled from the Net. If anyone has a problem with their
post being here, tell me, and I'll remove it... (I got permission for the
Email one, though.) --arcangel@io.com
From: martinl@rice.edu
(Martin Leslie Leuschen)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.gurps
Subject: GURPS Religion Troll
Date: 18 Oct 1996 16:16:54 GMT
Organization: Rice University, Houston, Texas
Message-ID: <548ahm$md8@listserv.rice.edu>
NNTP-Posting-Host: ruf.rice.edu
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I'm thinking of buying GURPS
Religion, but I'd like to know if it includes what I'm
looking for first...
Specifically, does GURPS Religion answer these
questions:
- Why does Kromm, who is supposed to be an uncaring god who generally ignores
mortal affairs, answer so many questions on this newsgroup? I don't have
GURPS
Conan to double check this, but the books,
comics and movies never implied anything different.
- When is Archangel Beth going to lead the forces of GURPS
in the final apocaplyptic battle against the Heathen? Who are the Heathen
anyway? AD&Ders? Champions Players? Are heretics (Those who use unofficial
rules) on our side or on the Heathen side? Are there other Archangels in
GURPS? Do they get along with the `Classic' AAs
Micheal, Ariel, Gabriel, and Rafael? Does Archangel Beth have a flaming
sword?
- Where does Mr. Jackson (The `Creator') fit into all this pantheon? Are
there any higher powers? Is there a Nemisis? (My guess is the Secret Service.)
- Are the Streets of Austin paved with gold? Since it's in Texas, and gold
is black, and black gold is in ashphalt, I think it may be true!
- Have I deduced too much? Will the Illuminati be after me now? What if
I say `fnord'? Wha.... [NO CARRIER]
With profuse apologies to Archangel Beth, Dr Kromm, Steve Jackson, Judeo-Chistianity,
and anyone else I've managed to offend, lampoon, or violate copyright of
in this post.
Fnord!
Martin Leuschen
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.gurps
From: an136@lafn.org (Steven
Anderson )
Subject: Re: GURPS Religion Troll
X-Nntp-Posting-Host: lafn.org
Message-ID: <1996Oct19.180433.28358@lafn.org>
Sender: news@lafn.org
Reply-To: an136@lafn.org (Steven Anderson )
Organization: The Los Angeles Free-Net
References: <548ahm$md8@listserv.rice.edu>
Date: Sat, 19 Oct 1996 18:04:33 GMT
In a previous article, martinl@rice.edu (Martin Leslie Leuschen) says:
>I'm thinking of buying GURPS Religion, but
I'd like to
>know if it includes what I'm looking for first...
>
>Specifically, does GURPS Religion answer these
questions:
>
>- Why does Kromm, who is supposed to be an uncaring god
>who generally ignores mortal affairs, answer so many
>questions on this newsgroup? I don't have GURPS Conan
>to double check this, but the books, comics and movies
>never implied anything different.
The Conan God is Crom, not Kromm, specifically Morty Crom Harvard class
of '76.
>
>- When is Archangel Beth going to lead the forces of
>GURPS in the final apocaplyptic battle against
the Heathen?
>Who are the Heathen anyway? AD&Ders? Champions Players?
>Are heretics (Those who use unofficial rules) on our side
>or on the Heathen side? Are there other Archangels in GURPS?
>Do they get along with the `Classic' AAs Micheal, Ariel,
>Gabriel, and Rafael? Does Archangel Beth have a flaming
>sword?
Not known, but I have it on EXCELLENT authority that she has a TL 13 forcescreeen.
(Private joke).
>
>- Where does Mr. Jackson (The `Creator') fit into all this
>pantheon? Are there any higher powers? Is there a
>Nemisis? (My guess is the Secret Service.)
>
Mr. Jackson fits in quite well usually in the Austin Texas area.
>- Are the Streets of Austin paved with gold? Since it's in
>Texas, and gold is black, and black gold is in ashphalt, I
>think it may be true!
>
But remember the Black Gold sidebar in Fantasy second edition.
>- Have I deduced too much? Will the Illuminati be after me
>now? What if I say `fnord'? Wha.... [NO CARRIER]
<Sigh> another guy trying to find the location of Warehouse 23 by
provoking the Men in Black into taking him into custody... Ok, disconnect
the brain implant making him do this, take the homing devices and overload
them. If he has no memory of this when he recovers from surgery send him
home
--
`I already HAVE a dirty name for the Easter Rabbit!"
Bugs Bunny
From: kromm@io.com (Dr
Kromm)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.gurps
Subject: Re: GURPS Religion Troll
Date: 19 Oct 1996 00:59:11 GMT
Organization: Illuminati Online
Message-ID: <54994v$7l3@nntp-3.io.com>
References: <548ahm$md8@listserv.rice.edu>
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Martin Leslie Leuschen (martinl@rice.edu) wrote:
> - Why does Kromm, who is supposed to be an uncaring god
> who generally ignores mortal affairs, answer so many
> questions on this newsgroup? I don't have GURPS Conan
> to double check this, but the books, comics and movies
> never implied anything different.
Oh, no. Not *that* again! You're thinking of Crom; I'm always getting his
mail; that's probably why people think he ignores them: he never gets their
message in the first place.
> - Where does Mr. Jackson (The `Creator') fit into all this
> pantheon? Are there any higher powers? Is there a
> Nemisis? (My guess is the Secret Service.)
This is reminding me of a song. ("When he's under water does he get
wet? Or does the water get him instead?")
-- Kromm (not Crom)
--
Sean M. Punch o E-mail: o 4122 rue Rivard
(a.k.a. Dr Kromm)|At SJG: kromm@io.com | Montreal, Quebec
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=o Local POP: kromm@cam.org o Canada H2L 4H9
GURPS Line Editor|WWW: | Home: (514) 288-9600
and Net Guru o http://www.io.com/~kromm o Work: (514) 288-9615
From: sands@netcom.com
(Sue and Sean)
Subject: Re: GURPS Religion Troll
Message-ID: <sandsDzn1sK.AK2@netcom.com>
Cc: sdharing@io.com
Organization: S & S Enterprises
References: <548ahm$md8@listserv.rice.edu>
Date: Mon, 21 Oct 1996 18:24:20 GMT
Sender: sands@netcom18.netcom.com
Thus spake martinl@rice.edu (Martin Leslie Leuschen):
>- Where does Mr. Jackson (The `Creator') fit into all this
>pantheon? Are there any higher powers? Is there a
>Nemisis?
I'm not sure if it's been Officially Confirmed, but I hear rumors that I
(the Benevolent Tyrant for Life of the GURPSnet) have been nominated for
Nemesis Pro Tem. Perhaps Kromm or Scott, Managing Editor and Guardian of
the Pyramid (with Flaming Blue Pencil), can confirm or deny....
By the way, Scott, I've got quite a few comments to give you on the GURPS
Battlefield Earth manuscript. I'm sure L.Ron is hard to work
with, but come on! You've got to check this stuff better -- how did he come
up with those point values?
--
Susan and Sean (order optional) // Eat the rich. The poor are tough and
stringy.
S & S Enterprises // sands@netcom.com
(The really funny thing about that one, to me, is that I are one...
A low-key one, but... O;> --arcangel@io.com)
From: Archangel
Beth <emccoy@nh.ultranet.com>
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.gurps
Subject: Re: GURPS Religion Troll
Date: Mon, 21 Oct 1996 18:36:52 -0400
Organization: Illuminati University
Message-ID: <326BFAA1.531D@nh.ultranet.com>
References: <548ahm$md8@listserv.rice.edu>
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Martin Leslie Leuschen caroled (the yule-tide troll):
>
> I'm thinking of buying GURPS Religion, but
I'd like to
> know if it includes what I'm looking for first...
>
> Specifically, does GURPS Religion answer
these questions:
[...]
> - When is Archangel Beth going to lead the forces of
> GURPS in the final apocaplyptic battle against
the Heathen?
> Who are the Heathen anyway? AD&Ders? Champions Players?
Hmmmmmmm.... We're still working on that... When we figure it out, and I
get the armor and flaming sword back from the cleaners, we'll see about
apocalyptic battles.
> Are heretics (Those who use unofficial rules) on our side
> or on the Heathen side?
Our side. But we'd better watch them....
>Are there other Archangels in GURPS?
Not sure. Maybe.
> Do they get along with the `Classic' AAs Micheal, Ariel,
> Gabriel, and Rafael?
Only a little.
>Does Archangel Beth have a flaming sword?
Yes, but it's at the cleaners...
> - Where does Mr. Jackson (The `Creator') fit into all this
> pantheon? Are there any higher powers? Is there a
> Nemisis? (My guess is the Secret Service.)
(Good guess...)
> - Are the Streets of Austin paved with gold? Since it's in
> Texas, and gold is black, and black gold is in ashphalt, I
> think it may be true!
Actually, Austin uses concrete.
> - Have I deduced too much? Will the Illuminati be after me
> now? What if I say `fnord'? Wha.... [NO CARRIER]
<grin> I think you're getting the rest of your questions answered
in a more...*personal*...way.
--emccoy@nh.ultranet.com //
arcangel@io.com // emccoy@jade.mv.net
GURPS characters, Roleplayers; Art: http://www.io.com/~arcangel/
Date: Wed, 23 Oct 1996 18:59:41 -0500 (CDT)
From: Martin Leslie Leuschen
<martinl@rice.edu>
To: Elizabeth "Archangel
Beth" McCoy <emccoy@nh.ultranet.com>
Subject: Re: Your Sword
Dear Ms. McCoy,
We regret to inform you that we will be unable to return your holy flaming
sword on the agreed date. Please allow us to explain:
The first time we attempted to clean your sword everything went fine, until
it was placed into the steam press incorrectly resulting in an unfortunate
wrinkle. As you know, here at TYTT Cleaners, we refuse to return less than
satisfactory work, such is our pride in our service. Therefore, nothing
was left to do but clean your sword and press it a second time, as the wash
cycle would remove said unsightly wrinkle.
Unfortunately, when the sword was hung on a rack to be transported between
the dryers and the press, it was inadvertantly placed to close to the taffeta
fairy dresses we were processing for Titania's court. Seven dresses were
destroyed, and your sword was made very sooty. We had no option but to wash
it again. (Luckily, however, we were saved the trouble of disciplining the
employee responsible, as Titania sent Puck to give him a very firm wedgie.)
Careful recordkeeping was all that kept us from losing your sword the third
time we sent it through. Somehow, it worked its way out of the dryer and
into the lint trap. Luckily, we noticed that it was missing during the unload.
As you can imagine, we were keeping very careful track of your sword by
then. It was perhaps destined, however, that we had just installed new WUSECo.
`Automatic Fusion Powered Drying Systems with Patented Lint Trap Power Supply
(TM)'. (I frankly don't understand, or trust, this newfangled technology
- give me our old `Uranium Pile in Every Tumbler' dryers any day.) Apparantly
these new dryers use the contents of the lint trap to power the dryer, assuming
you are not drying Fe56. (In which case the dryer won't work. Go figure.)
In any case, we had to engage in an emergency shutdown of the fusion reactor
to stop your sword from being consumed, and the resultant explosion of star-hot
plasma destroyed a large chunk of our lot, in addition to getting us into
no end of trouble with the NRC. (I _knew_ the tried and true technology
was better than this newfangled stuff!) In any case, when we finally retrieved
your sword, which had been embedded in the side of a tree 50' in the air,
(Incidentially making a family of squirrels homeless and very paranoid.)
it was once again horribly soiled. Nothing to do but wash it once more...
Well, to make a long story short, the fourth try was the charm, and we got
the sword washed, dried and pressed (extra starch), exactly as ordered -
sort of. You see, some imbecile in sorting had dropped the sword in the
wrong bin. Although we know now that the sword should have been washed and
dreid on the `delicate' setting, we had it in the `monument press' wash
setting and the `Saharah under a magnifying glass' drying setting. Repeated
four times, the resultant shrinkage redered your sword considerably smaller
than it had been, and our company cook (We run a hot lunch program here
for our employees.) inadvertantly stuck it into a grilled cheese sandwhich
as a garnish. Said sandwich was eathen by one of our employees (Mikey) before
we could recover it. (His only comment was `Spicey.'.)
Therefore I regret to inform you that we have lost track of your holy flaming
sword. However, Company policy dictates that we can offer you an equivalent
item from our `Unclaimed' collection in compensation. Therefore I present
you with the following list of equivalent items for your perusal:
- - The Holy Flaming Carrot Peeler of Peter
- - The Mystical Egg Whisk of Borking
- - The Holy Staple Remover of Thwarting the Punk Rock Hordes
- - A spiffy Lighter designed to look like a Gamma Dino Laser (Or is it
a GDL adjusted to work as a Lighter? I forget.)
- - The Bottomless Can of Mace
If none of these are satisfactory, please contact us, and we will try to
make other arrangements.
Thank you for your consideration,
I. M. Fullofgall,
V.P. in charge of customer relations
TYTT Cleaners.
P.S. I am told that there have been some problems with your armour, but
they should be straigtened out shortly.
P.P.S. I can't believe I wrote this.... -M
Needless to say, I had hysterics and thought the GDL/Lighter was
interesting... --arcangel@io.com
(Back to The Real McCoy)