Daimon ponders deeply. "So is this how it works in Heaven?"
Liz says "Is how what works in heaven?"
You say "This. All of this. You get to give backrubs and stuff."
Liz says "Sure. Not all the time, but some of it, certainly."
Liz says "Assuming one has a back to rub, naturally."
You say "Okay, appendage rub. I mean, that the trades are free and you don't have to geas people into doing stuff."
Liz says "Oh yeah. That's pretty customary."
Liz says "You do it because you like doing it, or because you think someone would enjoy it, or just because you like someone and think it'd be a nice thing."
Liz says "Or any number of other reasons."
You say "Huh. That's strange. I'm not used to the thought of people just doing stuff for people, unless there's some reason behind it. You know, there's nothing that is free, everyone has a motivation."
Liz says "Well, there are motivations, but they're generally benevolent. Love's a good one."
You say "The concept of just DOING things is really weird. But I guess... it's Freedom, in it's own way. Don't you have to really trust people doing things for you? What if they're out to get you?"
You say "I'm fairly sure that Love is a human emotion, like infatuation."
Liz says "Um, not in the same way."
Liz says "Humans have love wrapped up in the 'survive and reproduce' thing."
You say "Well, I'd be suspicious of anyone giving anything like that to me for free."
Liz says "We don't. There are angels who spend decades immersed in the structure of a flower, from love."
Liz says "Or the contemplation of our Lord."
Liz says "Or, yes, the Smiting of His enemies."
You say "I still don't believe in God, sorry."
Liz smiles, shrugs. "I'm not asking you to, Daimon."
You say "Oh, that's good. And I can't see killing people just because it's some unknown deities' will. That always bugs me."
You say "But.... uh, I have a death hangup."
Liz says "Frankly so do I. But I also have responsibilities. But I love doing what I do, so there's a good match between doing what I love, and doing what Marc needs me to do, and so forth."
Liz says "It's not perfect, but it's very, very good."
You say "I dig what I do, most of the time. The Boss is a wise and enlightened being."
You say "I don't always get it right away, but eventually, I'm like, WOW"
Liz nods. "Fair enough. Archangels, and I suppose Princes, know a lot. Much more than me, I'm sure."
You say "But he sends me on jobs that also brings me enlightenment."
Liz says "The thing is, I can't imagine a situation where Marc would feel disposed, or even compelled, to strip me of my forces or destroy me. I suppose if I Fell, but even then, I think he'd mourn me."
Liz says "I don't think you can say that for most Princes."
You say "No, of course not. That's why we need to prove ourselves worthy to the Princes."
Liz says "I'm just glad I don't have to prove myself worthy. I'm happy to do what I can, and know Marc Loves me."
You say "But don't you have to do something for that Love? I have to show that I'm worthy of such wisdom before it's given to me. I work hard for it."
Liz says "The Love is free. Respect, rites, attunements, that sort of stuff comes with hard work. But no matter what, I know he Loves me, and wants to see me do well."
You say "Nothing is Free."
Liz says "People mess up, sure. Heck, I plowed a plane with a valuable artefact into a hillsite forty five years ago. Spent a decade Trauma."
Liz says "But when I came out, Marc was *there*. He got me back on my feet, got me flying again."
You say "I think if I was in Trauma for a decade, I'd be disassembled for parts. Probably for the best, although the thought of losing myself is pretty terrifying. But, the Princes serve a higher purpose."
Liz says "What's the purpose?"
You say "I don't know. I'm not a Prince."
Liz nods. "Well, the purpose of the Angels is to promote God's word, and his Love. Even if you don't believe in God, it's still a pretty good business to be in. The fringe benefits are great."
You say "I understand the fringe benefits. But... I can't see how promoting War, and death, and pain is spreading Love."
Liz lazes back. "Okay, slightly different spin. Suppose your job was to give out backrubs. That's it. Just backrubs."
Liz says "Pretty easy life right?"
You say "Sounds good to me. Sign me up. Do I get to spew vague enlightment to the victim's whose backs I rub?"
Liz laughs. "Sure."
You say "Great. I'm there in spades. I'll rub your back and we'll discuss Kierkegaard's infatuation with Abraham."
Liz says "But then someone comes along, and their job isn't to give backrubs. If they give a backrub, it winds up hurting the person. Or they have to pay for the backrub and even if they can't afford it, they have to pay more and more and can't give it up. Or they don't even want to give backrubs. They want to kill all the people you give backrubs to."
Liz says "So you'd try to do something about the person who's messing up your backrub giving thing. Because you like giving backrubs, and because you hate to see the people you give backrubs to get hurt."
You say "Well, I suppose. If my universe was giving backrubs, I'd rather not have someone show up and start stabbing the person whose back I was rubbing. They were, I hope, having an interesting conversation with me."
Liz nods.
Liz says "So you start messing with the people who are out stabbing the people you're giving backrubs to. And that person, who just wanted to go out and stab and doesn't *care* about backrubs goes 'Hey, who's this guy hitting me on the head with a massage table', and things get out of hand from there."
You say "So yeah, okay, I can see your point. But I don't stab people."
Liz says "True, but let's take the guy who runs around stabbing."
You say "Okay. There's this annoying guy going around stabbing the people I'm trying to con into listening to my dumb stories. We have that much down."
Liz says "So you're going after him with your massage table. And you find out he's got a buddy that makes a practice of dumping water on people. And another buddy who goes around handing out burgers and then charging people for 'em after they've eaten."
Liz says "And another buddy who likes setting cats on fire."
Liz says "And so on, times a couple of zillion."
You say "I have a cat, you know. I secretly believe all cats are Marxists."
Daimon furrows his brow. "But I don't stab people, or dump water on them, or do the rest of that stuff."
Liz says "But lucky you, you've got a few buddies, including a big guy who would really like to be doing plumbing (it's keen) but in the mean time he's got this big pipe wrench and, y'know, if you use it on the guy who likes to set cats on fire, it stops the burning cat problem."
Liz says "It's a generalist sort of thing, Daimon. Like the wood elf thing. You're not *really* a wood elf, right?"
You say "Of course not. But why can't I find out what everyone really Needs, and give them that?"
You say "It's like this in H-uh, where I come from. People get pissed off at other people interrupting their operations, and then it's like some sort of nuclear arms buildup of attacks and counterattacks."
Liz says "Because the guy setting cats on fire really Needs to set cats on fire. He doesn't do anything else. And he's got his few million buddies, and there's not enough of you to arrange for them to have different Needs, and for you to keep on giving backrubs."
Liz says "So you figure instead that you can get rid of the guy who's stabbing people, and the guy lighting cats on fire, and if you get enough of them, you can go back to giving backrubs a few days a week, and your buddy with the wrench might get to redo the occasional commode."
You say "Oh."
Daimon ponders this deeply.
Liz says "If there were enough of us, I think we could sit down with each demon, no matter how twisted and perverted they were, and we could try and fix them. So that their Needs didn't hurt other people, humans, demons, or angels."
Liz says "But there aren't enough of us. And a lot of the time we spend protecting humans, or protecting ourselves, or fulfilling our words."
You say "So I'm broken for wanting to please my Prince?"
Liz says "Daimon, I haven't seen you do anything yet that an angel wouldn't do."
Liz says "Maybe you *aren't* broken, by those standards."
You say "But there's GOT to be something wrong with me, if I understand you right."
Liz says "But you're working for someone who's just Damn Scary. Maybe you aren't broken, but a lot of folks who work for your Prince sure are."
You say "But... but... I get to be Funny."
Liz says "Do you hurt people? I mean, do you try to go out and hurt people, deliberately, when you don't have to?"
You say "Well, I suppose from a certain point of view, I probably say some pretty interesting things, and I've planned some rather funny pranks in my time. But I don't kill anyone. It's all in Fun."
Liz says "All right, the not killing is a big start."
You say "I told you, I have this death thing. I don't kill anyone. If I killed people, who would be left to laugh?"
Liz says "But what happens to someone if you humliliate them? Make them an object of ridicule? Is it a good thing? Were they arrogant and hurting other people and the humiliation makes them straighen up and fly right? Or were they just going along, and for no good reason people are laughing at them?"
You say "I, uh, well, it IS Funny. And in a certain way, it's enlightening to everyone around them."
Liz says "And it breaks them. They stop helping, start hurting others in return. They go around chopping up massage tables, because someone pulled down the towel once when they were getting a massage."
Liz says "I'm not saying that there aren't a bunch of people who can't use a little (or a lot!) of Humility."
You say "So I help them see what stupid things they were doing."
Liz says "Okay. How's something 'stupid'?"
You say "Being arrogant? Just doing boneheaded things?"
Liz says "Okay. Let's say you had a really fat person. I mean just enormous. And she's getting a massage."
Liz says "Would pulling the towel off of her in front of everyone be funny?"
You say "Ick. Not a good image."
You say "Oh, definitely. It would be hilarious."
Liz says "Okay. But would you do it? How would be punishing people for her being arrogant?"
Liz says "How is her getting a massage a stupid thing?"
You say "But... it's _funny_. It's a good prank."
Liz says "Yes, it's funny, sure. Everyone has a good laugh. Except this poor woman, who didn't want anything more than a nice, relaxing backrub, gets humiliated. She's mortified. She never ever goes for a backrub again, so she misses out on the niceness of backrubs for the rest of her life."
You say "Oh. Uh.... but it was just a prank."
You say "No one got _hurt_."
Liz says "Is the laugh everyone got, the thirty seconds or five minutes or whatever of 'boy, that was hysterical' worth the hours and days and years of this woman not getting pleasure from backrubs, and being embarassed whenever she runs into one of the people who was there?"
Liz says "Sure, she didn't get physically injured, but she's going to have pain, emotional pain, every time the subject comes up."
You say "I... uh...."
Daimon looks upset.
You say "But backrubs are just as good as the prank."
Liz says "Sure they are."
Liz says "But now she's never going to be able to have one again, without feeling some source of pain."
You say "This can't be right. The Prince is a brilliant man, and people don't get _hurt_."
You say "There's got to be something wrong here, with either you... or with me... or something."
Liz says "I'm not saying life's perfect, Daimon."
You say "I don't want people to miss out on backrubs. I like giving them."
Liz says "I'm not saying humor's bad. Humiliating the Game is probably a good thing. It's even more injurious to them than just blowing them up and putting them in Trauma, cause then the Mafia or whoever might refuse to do business with them in the future."
Liz says "Pretty effective, right?"
You say "So being Funny to the right people is okay."
Liz says "Sure, but what if, and I'm going to be thinking about this one for a while. What if instead of shooting that woman earlier today, I'd done something else. Talked with her, maybe. Explained that my friend was stuck, and we just wanted Sephar out. No boom, no explosions, no nothing."
Liz says "I just have her release Sephar, and walk on our merry way. And, next time we run into her, instead of trying to do whatever it is she does, instead we talk."
Liz says "Y'know, go for a pot of Jasmine tea."
You say "I don't think she would have talked to you. Or rather she would have, but not in a friendly way."
Liz says "And just talk. Or go for a drive along the shore."
Liz says "And instead of her trying to shoot me, or rewire my mind, we find out that she likes backrubs too. For the right reasons."
Daimon furrows his brow. "I dunno."
Liz says "And, pretty soon, she's another person you can invite over for a good backrub, either to receive or accept."
Daimon looks confused and distraught, so he bites his lip.
Liz says "Only, because I shot her, we never find that out."
You say "I think she was a bad person. All people who work for the Game are bad. They like to take people off the streets, and shove them in prison, and torture them for fun."
Liz says "Now, let's be realistic. She shot first. She clearly wanted me dead. But she didn't open fire right off. She asked me to stop. She said she'd call the police. I didn't stop, so I pushed her into a corner, and only *then* did she start shooting."
Liz says "But then she tried to kill me. Very bad."
Liz says "I wouldn't have liked it much."
You say "I would have been amazingly upset if she would have killed you."
Liz says "So shooting her was -probably- the right thing to do. But, just possibly, it wasn't. And I'm going to have to think about that possibly for a while."
Liz smiles. "That's sweet. Thanks."
Liz leans over, kisses you.
You say "And then I would have had to get over the whole death thing, and take care of her. It would have been very hard for me, but I would have, because she hurt you."
Liz nods.
Liz says "So, I shot her, we left. Everyone's happy, except for her and the rest of the Game."
You say "And right now, I don't think I could deal with that."
Liz says "So, on the whole, I think that was good."
You say "Well, the Game is doing Bad things, right? So in the long run, it was a good thing."
You say "But for her, she just died. I'm not too keen on any death, really."
Liz says "But it could have been better, because maybe, against the odds, we might have found someone who liked backrubs. Liked them enough that she would be willing to stop working with the Game and just do backrubs, or stained glass, or juggling."
Liz says "That's the whole bit with the Malakim."
You say "Or music and telling dumb stories."
Liz says "The Malakim don't have time to stop and ask questions. I mean, I didn't have time either, but they have a lot less of it."
You say "I've never been near Malakim long enough to talk to them."
Liz says "So they tend to group people by 'is he/she/it a demon, if so, kill it'."
You say "They scare the hell out of me."
Liz says "I'm sure there are exceptions, but it's hard to take time out, epecially since they usually get called in only after something's gone all pear shaped."
Liz says "It's sort of hard to stop and ask the Balseraph if he likes flowers when the Bal is trying to turn your mind into guacamole. Or ask the Calabite if she likes sunsets on the beach when she's trying to chainsaw you to death."
You say "I figure, I can give millions of backrubs, and Malakim will still kill me. But, I think, if it came down to calling them in and saving you and me dying, and you dying, I'd rather I bite it, thanks. I'll get over it."
Liz says "Daimon..."
Liz seems at a loss for words, and then just *hugs*
You say "So if the time comes for you to call them in, you just do it, okay?"
Liz sniffles a bit. "Okay, but I'll try and make sure they don't kill you, too."
You say "I'll be okay. I could probably talk my way out of that mess. I think 'Malakite' is a good reason to explain getting offed."
Liz says "Uh huh."
You say "Maybe. It's alright."
Liz says "Well, maybe we can arrange things so that the Malakite doesn't kill you, either."
You say "I doubt it. I don't even know when and when not to be Funny."
Liz says "Perhaps I can introduce you to Eduardo sometime. I don't know if you'd like each other, but it would be educational for you both."
Liz imagines we'd have to keep the situation highly non-confrontational.
You say "I dunno. I'd like to have a better excuse for dying then 'curiousity'."
Liz grins.
Liz says "I really, really doubt he'd just whip out a sword and go after you."
Liz says "They're not mindless, you know. Just pretty tightly wrapped."
You say "That's a really scary thought. I read those Needs, and having someone Need to kill you is pretty terrifying. It makes you just want to crawl behind a couch and cry."
Liz smiles. "Yes, but what if, instead, he had a Need to acknowledge that you'd been brave and helped save not one but two angels from a Vapula computer and a demon with a gun?"
You say "You guys needed what little help I could give."
Liz says "Yes, but you didn't *have* to give it, right?"
Liz says "Okay, I suppose it was Funny for demonlady to be wrestling with the Invisible Lilim, but you could have gotten killed."
You say "No, of course not. But you needed the help. And in return, I got the data, a little bit of, I dunno, friendship maybe from a Kyrio who I feel a little better about, and you to talk to me."
You say "It was Funny, but that wasn't the point. Sometimes what I want is not all that important. And I get repaid in the long run."
Liz says "Okay, but from Eduardo's point, you, a demon, helped out two angels against another demon."
You say "Maybe I was selfishly motivated."
Liz says "He's not really concerned with the long term thing. You did the Right Thing. He'd have to acknowledge that."
You say "From everyone's point of view but the dead demon's, of course. Although, I'm not overly concerned with her point of view."
Liz says "I'd imagine few enough people are, except for her."
Liz says "Probably nobody, really, except for her. Even her Prince. Her Prince, I'd imagine, is going to be *very* unhappy for her."
Liz says "That's sort of sad. I mean, think about it. Who can she turn to for support? Who's going to stick up for her and remind everyone of the work she did? Given how prominent this Game post is, I'd imagine that she did a lot of hard work to get where she was."
You say "Well, her Prince is supposed to be unhappy. I was following orders - I am to embarrass the Game in a permanent sort of way."
Liz says "Now, in ten minutes, two random angels and a demon come in, mess up her computer, and shoot her. When she gets out of Trauma, she's got a royally pissed Prince to face."
You say "Demons are supposed to fend for ourselves. We're individuals. We don't need to support ourselves."
You say "Er, have other people support us."
You say "It's not important. We're _servitors_. We serve. And when we screw up, it all falls on our shoulders."
Liz says "Maybe not, but think of how much easier it would be if, when she got out, there's her Prince and he says 'You couldn't have anticipated what happened, and you did it right, you just got unlucky and outnumbered', and he demotes her, but she gets to keep going, and maybe make it up."
You say "But Asmodeus won't do that."
Liz says "Instead, she'll probably get her forces stripped and scattered to the wind, and another mind will pass out of creation. Maybe for the best, yes, but... maybe she liked flowers, y'know?"
Liz says "Or backrubs."
You say "Maybe."
Daimon bites his lip, and looks upset.
Liz says "Anyway, it's late, And I have to go."
Liz hugs.
Daimon nods, and hugs.
Liz says "If it makes you feel better: she *did* try her level best to shoot me."
You say "Yeah, a little bit."
Liz says "So, you take care."
You say "I will."
---