Present: Freshthing versions of... Joe Calderwood, Patrica Miller, Swomi
Tift, Gillian Brent & Pyewacket, John Smith, Marcus Magnusson (air
and healing mage from Yrth), Loriel deForest, and Johnathan Lierdon III.
The PCs (having saved the campus in last week's episode) are invited to
lunch with the ArchDean in the Croesis Center ("Xanadu House").
They are told that they'll be picked up at the Borgia Center by a shuttlebus.
Said shuttlebus starts driving up at about 11:59:59 (lunch is at noon,
mind you). It gets hit with a blast of strange energies from Alpha Omega
Pi (the WUSE fraternity/sorority). The PCs get on anyway (Swomi scanning
with interest). As they round the corner, the Alchemy building blows up,
adding its strange vapors to the mix...
The shuttlebus morphs into a Star Trek: Next Generation shuttle, docking
with the Enterprise D. Swomi is overcome with joy at the thought of meeting
her hero, Data. Then Q appears in the back of the shuttle,
tsks, and snaps his fingers. The shuttle is now docking with the
first Enterprise. Swomi is crushed for a moment, then realizes that
here she can meet Spock! There is some grumbling about Q,
to which Swomi says, "Better be nice to him; he might be one of the
ArchDean's boyfriends."
After a certain amount of "Who are you" from Captain...James...T....Kirk!
and Joe's comments of "we're late for lunch!", the shuttle is
cleared to dock...
After docking, Patricia and her +10 reaction modifiers affect Kirk in the
obvious ways. Meanwhile, Spock is scanning people...
Joe, to Spock: "What's with the ears?"
Loriel, to Joe: "HEY!"
Spock scans Joe (part-time werewolf). "You have a most unusual
biogenetic structure."
John Smith: "He's a football player."
Spock: "Football has not been played for 2,000 years."
Joe: "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Swomi attempts to explain to Spock that they're from an alternate dimension
(or time, or something), and Spock decides that they're from the future
or past or something (Spock: "I'm detecting energy readings I've never
seen before." Swomi, immediately forgetting what she was talking about:
"Can I see??!") and that there must be no interference in other
times -- he goes off to drag Patricia away from wherever she and Kirk got
off to.
Swomi realizes she's been talking to... Spock! ...and faints.
Dr. McCoy showes up. "This woman has fainted!"
Meanwhile, John Smith is trying to chear up Joe. "Suppose you reinvented
football? You'd be the greatest football hero by default." Joe thinks
this is a great idea, and goes off to explain it to McCoy, who has some
interest, especially in the notion of cheerleaders.
When Kirk shows up again, Lierdon resumes his attempts to purchase some
of this neat stuff... "How much for the whole ship?"
Spock: "Money has not been used for centuries."
Lierdon: "But... But...But... Do you take credit cards, then?"
Swomi and Spock get into a discussion about whether they're from an alternate
dimension or the past -- Spock gives Swomi a datapad with the equations
on it, which either convinces her that he's right (from the past), or distracts
her enough that she doesn't care anymore (it's her datapad now!).
Lierdon is hauled onto the ship by Joe and John.
Joe's trying to find a bathroom, and messing with the transporter. Marcus:
"They don't have bathrooms, Joe -- they have transporters." John:
"So that's why transporter accidents are so dangerous..."
The shuttle's course is locked in, and the merry band heads away again
-- only to discover that the shuttle is headed for prehistory... (It is
a little known Starfleet fact that the meteor strike that caused the extinction
of the dinosaurs left traces of Starfleet hull components...) They beam
off -- and arrive in historic (?) Britian.
A knight shows up to meet them. It's Lancelot. He's being a bit... obnoxious
about the PCs, until distracted...
Swomi, to Patrica: "Go git him, Pat!"
Patricia, to Lancelot: "I'd love to be rescued by you..."
The group winds up being left in the courtyard, and they decide to seek
out Merlin! They find him... He's wearing an IOU Class of 2074 ring, and
looks like an older version of Professor Ambrosius, from the Alchemy Department.
While he's working on finding a way to get everyone back, his crystal ball
(with AA batteries) shows a fellow with a Swastika armband sneaking around
with what looks like a bomb!
Merlin: "Go deal with him, would you?"
Joe: "Does this mean we can beat him up?"
All: "Yes!"
So they do... Joe in wolf-form savages the poor Nazi's leg. Swomi: "Patty,
call Joe off!" Patrica: "Here, Joe! Here, boy!" Joe: <ears
perk up and he bounds over>
Gillian: "Uh, Swomi -- the bomb?"
Swomi: "What bomb?"
Gillian: "The one he put under Arthur's chair at the round table."
Swomi: "Oh, that bomb!" <a little later> "Why,
it won't even work! Hm. I could fix it..."
Gillian: "We don't want it fixed!"
Swomi: "Oh, right."
Meanwhile, Lierdon (knowing German) interrogates the Nazi -- he's come
from the present, he says, back to the past, to blow up Arthur. (Lierdon
gets him to talk by taking out a wad of cash and flipping it in front of
the guy's nose... Just riffling through the bills a little, and a Nazi
is transformed into a drooling puddle...)
When Lierdon reports this, and the existance of a tunnel back to the future,
Marcus sensibly asks: "To what year?"
1940's or so, it turns out.
Now, where's the time-tunnel? John, to Swomi: "Johnathan questioned
him -- he knows where to go." Johnathan: "Uh... of course I...
ur..." John, to Swomi: "See? He knows."
After arriving, the PCs subdue two guards while Swomi helps the scientists
keep their powerplant from overloading. GM, about one of the guards: "Joe
can take one arm and Loriel can kick him in the ribs -- and his other arm
is on fire."
The Nazis, despite some suggestions about bringing them along to sell as
lab-rats ("we're gonna have to pay for that shuttlebus!"), get
tossed back into the past, with the PCs figuring that Merlin will take
care of them. The chateau is looted (especially of good brandies and other
alcoholic stuff, and one magical mummy which John precogs as teaching a
class...) while Lierdon and Swomi work on translating the operating manuels
for the time machine.
John: "It's been a long day."
Swomi: "But it's been a relatively short 1,600 years!"
The time tunnel works! Sort of.
They appear in a bullet-train passage, and barely escape before being flattened
by a train that bears Lierdon's corporate logo.
They're in Japan... Around the time of the anime show, Bubblegum Crisis...
Climbing up a ladder and then hastily down, Lierdon reports, "B-b-b-b-b-b-b-BLUE
THINGS!"
Explosions occur overhead (they'd assumed they were under a WUSE building,
until the Japanese signs were noticed). There is dicussion of what to do...
Joe: "Why can't we go back to IOU and have them send us back to our
own time?"
Swomi: "Because we'll have shown up 60 years late for lunch."
After the firefight ends, the group climbs back up, and discovers a branch
of Lierdon's banks! He inserts his card. The ATM says "Hello, Master."
Lierdon asks Robo-Jeeves to have a car sent 'round, to take them to the
nearest lab which has parts to build a time-travel device... The nearest
lab is in the Genom building, reports Robo-Jeeves.
Lierdon: "I... own.... Genom??"
Robo-Jeeves: "Yes, sir."
Swomi: "No wonder the Knight Sabers never got the Director of Genom."
Joe: "Does this mean he's one of the bad guys?"
All: "Uhhhhh...."
The car, when it gets there, is driven by a Boomer, of course. There is
much concern that the Knight Sabers will show up, but fortunately they
don't. In the depths of the lab, we are introduced to a young girl with
a mane of pink hair -- Washuu-chan! (Anime: Tenchi Muyo!) Little
Washuu produces a Delorian (flying model) and the PCs cram into it (still
with the mummy). They all arrive about 4 days early, on the IOU campus.
The mummy is welcomed as a professor (though it doesn't do anything to
acknowledge this...), and Lierdon has a Hollywood-style motorhome airlifted
to the parking lot for everyone to stay in while they're waiting for Lunch.
Lierdon: "Oh, and Jeeves? Don't tell me about this for a week, okay?"
"Very good, sir."
After all this, of course, Something Comes Up, and the ArchDean can't make
it to lunch. But everyone gets to eat at the Illumni house anyway!
Professor Engenbinder (teaches Survival courses) has vanished! The PCs
must find him before his "gimme class" is canceled!
[To Be Continued!]
Joe: Maybe he got abducted by aliens?
John: I did not!
[After trashing his office in search of clues, they discover spelunking
catalogs and head off to the Steam Tunnels...]
GM: You smell Professor Engenbinder...
Joe: Eewwwwwh!
[They find a strange 60's-looking fellow in the lava-lamp-lit depths of
one passage.]
Zoned NPC: What's the meaning of life?
Loriel: I don't know -- I'm a Phys. Ed. major, not a Psychology major.
Zoned NPC: Nobody else survived the war, man..."
Marcus: What war?
Zoned NPC: The nuclear war..."
Loriel's Player: *whew*! For a minute there I was afraid you were going
to say 'The war on drugs'!
[They go through the 60's refugee-den, and find a concrete bunker. There
is a guard there, and the advance guard gets shot at. They shoot back,
tossing grenades... And the occasional meep -- Joe brought a supply of
those.]
John: Guys, why are you trying to blow up the professor?
Joe: I'll turn into a wolf and lope down the hall.
Loriel: I'll do the same thing -- except I won't turn into a wolf.
Loriel: I go through the door!
GM: There's a surprised guy with a submachine gun on the other side.
Loriel: Oh, then I don't!
[John searches for the professor, using ESP.]
John: Professor Engenbinder is on the other side of the wall, tied up and
being interrogated -- and having the time of his life!
[Using a meep to distract the guard with the machine gun... Joe's Throwing
skill comes in handy!]
Gillian's player: The meep is beyond hope, though...
NPC: "John! [The guard who had been subdued earlier.]
John Smith: "Yes?!"
[Joe, stil in wolf form, leaps upon the military-fem who was interrogating
the prof., and schlurps her face.]
Chief Kibitzer: A lick attack!
GM: I don't think that's in Compendium...
[They now have a tightly tied-up professor...]
John: Get him to comfirm our grades before he sees his office!