Newly elected President Viktor Kyburz is seen here on the deck of his childhood home in Central Switz Land. Winning the last Switz election (12-23-1999) has been credited to his extraordinary campaign promises and the overwheming turnout of the Switz "youth vote."         Most important was President Viktor's firm promise:         "It is time to reveal to the world the reality of our presence, to showcase our beloved Switz Land on the Internet is a first step. The well meaning controls of our past, are over.         We are to enter into the future and it is time our voices are heard world wide. "

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President Viktor's promise to the youth of Switz Land to bring the country into world view surely helped him to win this last election. None can deny that his popular banner which featured one of his main campaign planks helped to carry him to victory.

This highly advertized slogan/banner no doubt helped him to gather even more voter support from Switz Land's strongly conservative and protective National elements which are entrenched in the voting population.

A large part of President Kyburz popularity with the people of Switz Land is his deep appreciation for his family's heritage and simple lifestyle. He is seen here with his favorite dairy cow "Old Blue," which in his youth he raised from a very small calf.

Here President Kyburz is having his picture taken with one of the 5 million warning signs which are being erected on the borders of Switz Land. His goal is to keep German and French hooligans from rushing into the country now that the old border crossing restrictions have been lifted by his Revisionist Cabinet

Still greater measures have been enacted by Switz Land's new President. Acknowledging that some elements of rouge tourism will begin to fly or motor in across the newly opened Switz borders the President has ordered strict security measures be taken. Switz Guard Bears are to be placed on overhead catwalks in all shops and department stores through out Switz Land.

In addition President Kyburz has sent to the far mountain passes of Switz Land for the best of the "Giant Attack Spiders" that all Switz childern train and love. The bite of these spiders does cause a loss of consciousness but is non-lethal. These spiders will be used if any German and French hooligans or perhaps a stray Italian should wander across Switz borders on foot. Supervised youth teams from local schools will unleash their trained faithful spiders on any law breakers.

Extra prides of ferocious Switz Puma will be released in statigic locations (maps will be provided to Switz citizens) throughout the Switz country side. Also with each map will be included a new Switz Army Knife with a useful magnifying glass feature for seeing the tiny Puma map notations.

There are further incentives to smooth out these fast changing times in Switz Land. The National Switz Bank has increased each citizen's Annual Paycheck to over $789,000 in American dollars. And to every 1000th randomly drawn Switz Bank account number, free six week vacation trips will be issued to the National treasure and recreational theme park, Mount Switzerhorn.

Lake Eva View to the South from Evamariahausen		Evamariahausen Capitol of Switz Land View to the North
The picture on the left is of Lake Eva, named after a historical figure from Switz history. The follow historically accurate tale describes the event, and is told to young Switz childern on cold winter nights. Almost 900 years ago a young Switz girl first discovered the now popular sport of both snow and water Switzing (currently called "skiing" by the outside world). Shortly after binding two slender wooden staves to her feet young Eva Voser careened wildly down a snow covered slope to the edge of the lake.         To the delight of her sister and onlookers Eva soon found herself sliding from the snow cover shore over the surface of the water of a small creek inlet to the other bank. To honor this inventive young Switz maiden her home town Evamarihausen (now the Capitol of Switz) was renamed in her honor, as was Lake Eva.

Switz Products & Inventions
Switz Cheese         Just one of Switz Land's more famous food products. This perhaps more than any other reason was the motivation for banishing many early Switz into exile. "One Hole" Switz cheese was the law of the land. Nefarious citizens of low character often tried to "sell more air than cheese" and faced the harsh pushishment of banishment by outraged Switz officals.

Switzel Sticks         As mentioned before, the U.S. is hoping to gain favor with the new Switz President by copying the traditional Switz mead tavern stirring tool. Shown on the right are more modern Switz gaming Switzel Sticks. The Americans have coyly named their product, "Swizzel Sticks."

Switz Bock Beer         This is a dark beer traditionally drunk in the fall when the brewers would clean out the vats in their breweries. This full bodied beer was first brewed by hardy mountain goat herders in remote Alpine villages of Switz Land in about 400 AD. Switz Bock is served at all Switz Bock Fests in the month of October.         The recipe for this distictive brew was purloined by German breweries sometime during the Dark Ages when there was much confusion in Europe. Sometime in the early 1900s this same recipe was copied and is produced to this day somewhere in the Southern U.S.A.

Switz Blade Knives         Seen to the right is the Classic "Horn" Switz Blade Knife, followed by the more modern Acrylic Switz Blades in red or black.         This spring powered knife was invented 300 years ago in Switz Land by a up-mountain herder who became lost in a great snow storm and accidently lost his way and crossed the Switz border. He was waylaid on his way back and rendered unconscious. And it is thought that this herder's Switz Blade knife was stolen by a wandering Italian gypsy, a shoddy imitated design patterned after his knife surfaced and was produce in Italy late in the 1800s.

Classic Switz Army Knife         This great utilitarian service knife was adopted by the Switz Army by the turn of the century and was quickly spirited from Switz Land by unknown perpetrators and has proven to be the global standard for many armed forces world wide.

Switzmarine "A"         Considered to be the world's first working underwater craft. This man powered boat(featured a hand cranked propeller) is thought to have changed the face of navy combat for all time. Switzmarine "A" was first built in 1855 and tested extensively by the Switz Navy for some three years at Lake Eva. Finally sold for scrap in 1860 the "A" prototype was replace by a more modern design. History has recorded that the Switzmarine "A" was spirited out of Switz Land as bulk scrap metal (Swiss agents are thought to be responable).         The "A" later resurfaced in the hands of the Confederate Army during the American Civil War and was renamed the "H.L. Hunley." In 1864 the Hunley with a nine man crew drove a torpedo into the side of the mighty Housatonic, sinking the Union sloop-of-war and becoming the first submarine in history to sink a ship in battle.

Painting of H.L Huntly by Conrad Wise Chapman circa 1863. Courtesy of the Museum of the Confederacy

Switz Hand Weapons         Much copied over the centuries are Switz firearms of all kinds. Such is the case with the first known "wheel gun" (top right). The Switz "Pony" was produced in Switz Land in 1804. This design has many times been duplicated by other gunsmiths world wide but never equaled.         The same can be said for the Switz Land SLK-47 assault rifle (bottom image) developed in 1932 when world strife seemed eminent.

There many more inventions and products
of Switz Land, too many to list at this time.

The future of Switz Land Rapid Transit The American "Skytran"

By order of Switz Land's new President Viktor, work has begun to contruct a Personal Rapid Transit system consisting of not less than 1200 miles of network elevated guideways. This utra modern high speed(+100mph) system is already being assembled and constructed within the boundries of Switz Land. The complete project system conecting all Switz Land towns and villages is due to be finished by the Spring of 2002.         President Viktor's speech to Switz Land last week on 01-01-00 contained these statements:         "The time has come to build the finest public transportation system the world has ever seen. The American's have just such a system but due to typical U.S. politics has failed to implement the design.         This system of personal rapid transit features fast point to point service with no stops in between. Using the most advance Maglev technology available, this non- polluting, almost silent, electrically powered transportation system will make Switz Land the envy of all the world's nations."

The Switz people hope you have enjoyed this website.
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