There's Backwards and there's . . .

BurkeWords

Monday, December 8, 1997

I'm starting this week's commentary with a proud slap on the back to my sister page the Bill Clinton Joke-of-the-Day Page, which over the past weekend logged its 300,000th hit. The counter (which was accidentally reset by my ISP at 105,000 back in February 1997) spun past 195,000 over the weekend.

Thank yous to the people who alerted me to the fact that the page passed the magical threshold. And thank yous to all the people who stopped by the page and made it as successful as it has been. Please, don't stop now.

A special thanks to all of you who traverse the Conservative Web Ring. I've noticed that since the Joke-of-the-Day page became a member of that ring, the pinging really started climbing. And when I check the daily statistics for my Internet Service Provider, I find that my pages consistantly put me near the top of the request list -- and I'm up against some porno sites.

Now I'll stop slapping myself on the back -- at least for the next 50 or 100 thousand visitors -- and get on with what you came her for.

Scott Shannon, 95.5 FM, WPLJ, New York City, 12/9/97

Okay, let's just go for the facts:

• Latrell Sprewell put his coach in a choke hold.

• Latrell Sprewell reportedly threatened to kill his coach.

There are folks serving 5-to-15 for less than that. The charge is usually Attempted Murder, and the second fact above is referred to as "Intent".

Sprewell isn't going to jail. He isn't going to trial. But he isn't going to play basketball for a year, either. The question shouldn't be whether that penalty was too harsh; the question is "Is it harsh enough?"

Now we're hearing that it's a race thing. Folks, look at the two facts above and tell me where race enters into it. The only relevant "fact" that leads to racism is the "fact" that Johnny Cochran is now his attorney.

Of course, Cochran isn't the only looney attorney charging that Latrell is being unfairly denied his income (which he isn't, by the way). On talk radio, WABC 77-AM, wacko Ron Kuby, "whose Mommy is a Commie" according to co-host Curtis Sliwa and proud of it according to Kuby, finds this to be precedent-setting and is alarmed that the first one to receive such harsh treatment is a black man. Amazingly, while he was blathering, he uttered the name of Tanya Harding.

For those who don't recall, Harding was brought into court for interfering with an investigation after finding out that her husband had conspired to whack Nancy Kerrigan on the knee, after the fact, and hadn't reported this fact to the authorities. As a result, Harding received a lifetime ban on all skating activites sponsored by the governing body. But guess what -- almost all skating competitions are covered by the ban. Harding lost her income for life and has been reduced to providing the pre-game warmup for hockey games.

Pete Rose, whether you like him or hate him, had a stellar career as a baseball player, has also been banned for life and may never get into the Hall of Fame.

Sprewell, who is no longer under contract, is free to negotiate a better deal with any team he wants, as soon as his suspension is over.

Personally, if he forces himself back on the team, I hope he becomes the highest-paid bench-warmer in NBA history.

Sen. Strom Thurmond announced that, effective end-of-year 1998, he will step down as the chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee.

He also announced that he will not seek re-election. (Of course, we've heard Senators make that promise before.) Thurmond's current term expires in 2003, when he'll be 101.

Janet Reno

This from the woman who burned down the Branch-Davidian compound and killed numerous children that she was moving in to save.

In the October 13, 1997 BurkeWords column, I reported the case in New York where Gov. Patakia was trying to supersede the Bronx D.A.'s decision not to seek the death penalty for an alleged cop killer.

Last week, in a 4-to-3 decision, the Court of Appeals ruled that Pataki was within his right to do so.

The judgment is a good sign for the future of New York. As for the present, the case is moot. The suspect hanged himself some time ago.

Sam Donaldson, 770-AM, WABC, New York City, 12/11/97

Thanks to this week's column being late, I got to include this item.

Sam was on the local ABC affiliate promoting tonight's "Primetime Live" interview with Ted Turner. Radio host Lionel asked about Turner's billion-dollar donation, "Why the UN?" where the money will be diluted in programs within programs. Why not this country?

Sam replied "I wish I had thought to ask him that."

That's okay, Sam. It's not like your a highly-paid, high-profile journalist or something. Oh, wait a minute . . .

Likewise, Donaldson mentioned Turner's reasoning in giving away "a third of what he's worth." Turner is doing no such thing. He's worth over three billion today. He's giving away one billion over the next ten years! Is the man planning on retiring and not making another cent ever?

At a hundred grand per year, Turner's not the top philanthropist, percentage-wise or dollar-wise, in this country. He's just the one who grabs the headlines. Owning CNN can help a guy do that.

By the way, Ted, if you want to be charitable, put How the Grinch Stole Christmas" back on free, broadcast TV where all children can see it, not just the ones whose parents can afford cable. I'll never forget how you stole that away from me at Christmas. And let's not forget, "It's a Wonderful Life" . . .

Even though I voted for the guy in the New York Gubertorial election and even though he's a Republican, I will occassionally takes shots at the guy when he deserves the proverbial shot.

This time it's the transit mess. The media, which uncovered the whole situation, has been so self-congratulatory that they haven't spent much ink realizing what a complicated and convulted mess George has given transit riders under the guise of "discount options".

Here's the real deal: it's all politcs. Isn't it always? The best deal for the city would have been a simple 12 for 10; every time you pay for ten rides, you get two free. That would effectively bring the price of a token back to the $1.25 level, where it was before the last increase. What could be wrong with such a simple idea?

Well, for starters, NYC City Council Speaker Peter Vallone, who will probably run in next year's gubertorial election, came up with the idea first and grabbed the headlines. Pataki had to "outdo" Vallone. So he invented the following crazy scheme:

A monthly pass, unlimited rides, for $63. If you ride the subway more than 21 times, everything after that is free. Unfortunately, most people on the subways ride 20 times a month, less if they take a vacation day or call in sick. And let's not forget the holidays.

There's a weekly pass that gives you ten rides for the price of eleven.

And finally there's the one-day pass that benefits tourists and companies with lots of messengers, but is of little use to people in what were once called "two-fare zones" who have to take a bus to the nearest train station that sells that one-day passes.

The Pataki people say entire families can use a single pass. But if I leave for work at 8:00am and don't return until 7:00pm, when is someone else going to use it if I'm carrying it! And I don't get a discount if I travel with my wife -- if I use the card, there's a time-limit before I can use it again, so we each need one. It isn't good for the entire family.

The final insult: No one knows when all of this will go into effect. First, someone has to figure out how to program of this into the computer systems. No one even knows if it can be pulled off.

In the meantime, come January, an 11-for-10 discount will go into effect, a discount that was passed some time back and which was easy to implement. And one which could easily be increased to 12-for-10 with a flip of a switch.

No, I'm not talking about Ross Perot. You should never take that loony seriously. Except in election years when he can do some real damage.

No, I'm talking about Betsy McCaughey Ross, the Lt. Governor of New York State. Sure, the papers are mentioning that she might run for the state's top job next year, but they're not positioning her as a likely winner in the Democratic primary. That's a mistake.

The media virtually ignored Pat Buchanan in '96 until his stunning and surprising finish in New Hampshire. Anyone who had been paying attention would have been neither "surprised" nor "stunned" by how well he had done. Likewise, don't be shocked if Betsy gets the Democratic nod. She's a woman who speaks her mind, and she's got a rich husband to bankroll her.

And let's not forget the woman on Long Island, a life-long Republican, who in 1996, was given the Democratic line to run for Congress, even though she had never held office in her life. She beat out her opponent, the incumbent, in a heavily-Republican area.

Would I ever vote for a Democrat? I have in the past, and I could in the future, especially if it's not for a national position where the party line usually takes precedent over common sense. Dick Gephardt isn't going to pin the Governor of New York against the wall and threaten her political career if she doesn't vote the right way. (Maybe I should say, "the left way"?)

I hope George "Sometimes I'm A Moron" Pataki sees this as a wake-up call.