There's Backwards and there's . . .
BurkeWords
Monday, December 29, 1997
Actually, Tuesday, December 30, 1997
There's Backwards and there's . . .
It's only been two weeks since PETA scored a victory when it butchered the dead sable coat being worn by comedian Joan Rivers at the time. Will they go after bigger fish now?
As you read this, 1.3 million chickens are set to receive lethal doses of CO2 in an attempt to suffocate them into a slow death. The reason: a new strain of flu that affects not only poultry, but apparantly has jumped to a dozen people as well. Hong Kong officials are worried.
They should be! When PETA is on the case, there is sufficient cause for worry. Mary Tyler Moore doesn't want to see a reporter standing in three feet of snow wearing fur, and I'm sure she agrees with her compatriots that 'tis nobler to save a lab animal than find a cure for diabetes.
How dare the folks in Hong Kong consider a miserable dozen humans compared to a million clucking fowl? Why, there are over a billion people in China, who would be a few more?
Beware, Hong Kong, PETA is on the prowl.
After a judge ruled that Ira Magaziner lied to him in court, Republicans have called from his dismissal from the White House.
Magaziner is doing the only thing that he can do under the circumstances, he's staying right where he is.
It speaks volumes about honor in this White House.
Apparantly, legislators are concerned for the welfare of the underage drinkers in these establishments.
Come on, California, be bold! Outlaw the stuff altogether!
Remember, when cigarettes are outlawed, only criminals will smoke.
"There are universities in California that could fill their entire freshman classes with nothing but Asian Americans."
Bill Lann Lee, Acting Head of the Justice Department's Civil Rights Division and Anti-Asian
I suppose that this is a bad thing?
And the White House thinks that keeping this self-hating Asian-American out of the Justice Department will make Asians hate the Republicans? Has Bill been not inhaling again?
Updating a story that I reported October 27, 1997, the woman in Roby, Illinois, who held off authorities armed with bean bags bullets who were determined to take her in for medical examintion to determine if she was mentally ill, was captured by police (with her children's blessing) after a 39-day standoff.
She was released in mid-December when psychiatrists concluded that she was no danger to herself nor to anyone else.
I find it hard to believe that any woman who can withstand multiple tear-gas attacks by smearing petroleum jelly over her skin to seal her pores while sticking her face under a running faucet can't be too mentally incapable. Still, it's nice to know the kids care.
Lawrence's body has been removed from Arlington National Cemetery. There is no evidence that President Clinton knew of the hoax that was perpetrated by Lawrence about his fictional heroic deeds.
In fact, the President was shocked, shocked!, to find himself associated with a notorious liar.
Oddly enough -- actually, not odd at all -- Mike McCurry never apologized for his hate radio comment. McCurry thought he'd killed that story with the casual turn of a phrase. Buzzzz!
"Abigail, do you favor the United States Army abolishing the affirmative action program that produced Colin Powell? Yes or no?"
President Bill Clinton, being condescending and rude (he interrupted the answer to repeat his flippant "yes or no?") to Mrs. Abigail Thernstrom, scholar and author of serious critiques of affirmative action, at a purported Dialogue on Race.
What the President won't tell you is that the United States Army does not have an affirmative action program. It does have an equal opportunity program that's gotten more young blacks to consider careers in service to our country, but there are no quotas for promotions. And, thank God!, we don't have a man with a nuclear arsenal at his disposal who was placed in his position because they needed a few more whatever to balance things out and to "look like America".
Side Note: Praise for Jack Kemp -- Okay, let's face facts. Jack Kemp wasn't all he could have been in 1996. But if you think that poor performance is all there is, well, then you don't know Jack! (I really wanted to work that one in. Whaddaya think?)
Jack Kemp was invited to one of President Clinton's purported "Dialogues" on Race at the White House, one where the opposing viewpoints would finally be heard. But they would only be heard by the folks in that room because there would be no cameras or press coverage of the meeting. Jack declined the invitation.
Okay, I watch the show, and I usually find it funny even though the laughs aren't coming the way they used to come. But enough is enough. The cancellation hit the front page of several of the New York City dailies and for more than one day.
One thing that always got me about this show: for a show that is about New York, set in New York, starring a guy from New York, it's just amazing how much about New York they just get wrong!
That's what happens when you get writers from California and make the show in California. What's Jerry going to do now? He's coming to New York. Maybe he'll do a series about living in California.
And speaking of New York City . . .
You might read in the paper how New York City will celebrate its 100th anniversary on Jan 1, 1998. You might read about all the wonderful things that have happened in the last hundred years. And you might read about all the good reasons why such a huge area filled with little towns came together as it did.
What you may not read is how it also didn't happen. Brooklyn, where I was born and bred, only much later than the consolidation of the boroughs, had to be pushed kicking and screaming into this agreement. The final vote had the Yeas ahead of the Nays by only 211 votes, or less than two-tenths of one percent. That's how close it was.
What you also won't read about is how it was all the idea of upstate legislators who wanted to control and consolidate the influence of the folks downstate.
As for Brooklyn, then the fourth-largest city in America, and much bigger than Manhattan in area and population, the city leaders had expansion ideas of their own -- looking eastward toward Long Island. Instead, all the money got sucked out of Brooklyn and they've tried to suck the life out of her, too. Hasn't happened yet, but Manhattan has tried. The boroughs no longer have any voice in city government, except for some figureheads that shout loudly at any news cameras they can find. But Staten Island has already voted for sucession from the city, and if they leave (quite possible after Mayor Guiliani leaves office), look for Queens and Brooklyn to follow.
Why? Well, this forced marriage of convenience has lasted for one hundred years. Face it, wouldn't you want to split if you've been married for one hundred years?
I was shopping in Caldor's last week for some last minute items when I noticed that the store had marked down many of its books-on-tape to the ridiculously low price of $2.99. Deciding that three dollars was a good investment for anything to help pass my commute, I started rummaging through the piles of tapes, where I struck gold. I unearthed a copy of "An American Life: the Autobiography of Ronald Reagan."
If there's one thing better than reading the man's words, it's hearing President Reagan speak his own words to you. This is the way the man should be remembered, frozen in that one moment of time because the worst kicked in and his life started to deteriorate. And it's a "great read" as well.
This page is Copyright 1997, Christopher J. Burke. All rights reserved.