THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

A New Year, Charles Schultz, John Rocker and more

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, January 7, 2000


Brave John Rocker

Altanta Braves pitcher John Rocker has come under a lot of fire lately for remarks about foreigners in New York City made in a recent interview.
I don't see what all the fuss is about. Is not like anyone thought the guy was a genius or a rocket scientist. And considering all the good he's done for the economy, he should just get back to doing the work of the Ameri....
Oh, excuse me, I meant to say, considering all the good fastballs he's pitched, he should just get back to doing the work of the Atlanta fans.
[C. J. Burke]

Thursday, January 6, 2000


Air Traffic Control Glitch

News reports this morning have reported glitches with air traffic control systems in the Northeast, including all three New York City area airports. Sources say that the problem is either "Y2K-related" or just that no one wants to handle the Air Force One traffic.
[C. J. Burke]

Wednesday, January 5, 2000


Co-incidence?

No sooner had the moving vans pulled up in front of the White House to cart away the first lady and all her FBI files than Jane Fonda announces that she's leaving her husband of 8 years, Ted Turner.
Rumor has it that since she and Bill were of a like mind over Viet Nam, she wanted to meet him, and maybe take a different kind of picture on a different kind of cannon.
[C. J. Burke]

Well, you have to figure that she was married to a man who thought the Church should get rid of that commandment about adultery, so maybe Bill would be a good fit . . .

Tuesday, January 4, 2000


So Long, Charlie Brown

"Peanuts" creator Charles M. Schulz has decided to end his near fifty-year run so he can concentrate on his treatment and recovery from colon cancer.
At the White House, impeached president Clinton expressed his regrets at the loss of Charlie Brown, Snoopy and the gang, while at the same time pondering how he could inflict colon cancer on Trent Lott, George W. Bush and Rush Limbaugh.
[C. J. Burke]

Monday, January 3, 2000


Happy New Year

It was a happy New Year at the White House. Drudge is reporting that a Secret Service agent accidentally walked in on a menage-a-trois in the bathroom off the Rose Garden and recognized one of the guests before he quickly exited.
Impeached President Clinton was furious, absolutely livid, that such behavior among his guests occurred. A visibly angry Clinton announcing that those guests would never return to any White House functions fumed, "why wasn't I invited?"
[C. J. Burke]

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