THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Donna Brazille, Teletubbies, Letterman and China
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, January 14, 2000
Report Says China Potential Threat to US in Canal
Washington, Jan. 12 (CNA) A recently declassified US military
intelligence report concluding that China may pose a threat to US
national security interests in the Panama Canal demonstrates that
President Clinton may not have told the whole truth about the potential
Chinese threat....
Impeached President Clinton not tell the truth???
I'm shocked. SHOCKED!
Who'd have thought it.
. . . anyone who's seen him brushing up on his use of chopsticks,
I guess.
[C. J. Burke]
Thursday, January 13, 2000
Late Night After Letterman
Last night, Bill Clinton interrupted some passionate lovemaking
to watch "the Late Show with David Letterman" and first guest,
First Lady Hillary Clinton.
The couple was enjoying the show until the impeached president had
those magical words whispered in his ear, "You know, this show was
actually taped a few hours ago."
Whereupon, Clinton responded, "It's not live?? Here, take your
clothes and get out of here. She'll be home any minute!!"
[C. J. Burke]
BONUS LETTERMAN LIST!
From
Free Republic last night...
David Letterman: The Top Ten Reasons My Hillary Interview was So Lame
10. My FBI file.
9. If there's one thing Howard Stern has taught me - lesbians equal ratings.
8. I've often been less than honest with the IRS.
7. Did you see what they paid Web Hubbell to shut up?
6. My home security system lacks a missle defense capability.
5. For godsakes! - she's married to a violent rapist!
4. I want to see my Mom again!
3. Vince Foster.
2. Paul Shaffer - I don't ask, but what if they tell?
1. Who knows how many more "Mrs. Lettermans" they control?
Wednesday, January 12, 2000
Hillary to Do Letterman!
It has been announced that Hillary Clinton will appear tonight
on "Late Show with David Letterman".
No word on whether the impeached president will appear with her,
perhaps during the "Stupid Pet Tricks" segment.
[C. J. Burke]
Tuesday, January 11, 2000
Teletubbies Revisited
Thanks to the Vast Conspiracy web site, we now have
a way-too-vivid description of the presidential private parts as told
by Paula Jones, who ought to know. Upon hearing the way-too-graphic
details (file it under "Information I Didn't Need to Know"), perhaps
I wasn't too far off with a Teletubbies analogy I made way back in
September 1998.
[C. J. Burke]
Monday, January 10, 2000
Brazile Backlash
Criticism has been mounting against Gore staff member Donna Brazile
who accused the G.O.P., Gen. Colin Powell and Rep. J. C. Watts notwithstanding,
of prefering to take pictures of black people rather than feed them.
Al Gore has brushed aside demands for Brazile's dismissal.
"I can't fire her," says the beleagured V.P., "she's my token black."
[C. J. Burke]
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