THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Bill's Valentine, Rudy's Letters, Heating Oil and more

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, February 18, 2000


Heating Oil's Up and the Temperature's Down

The rise in heating oil prices co-inciding with the recent freezing temperatures has many of those of limited means in the Northeast having to choose between "heat" or "eat". New York City Mayor has called upon Impeached President Clinton to release the United States' oil reserves, provide some relief and "feel our pain".
Unbeknownst to Rudy, Clinton is feeling the pain. It's been so cold lately that his interns have had to wear more than thongs.
[C. J. Burke]


Thursday, February 17, 2000


World's Newest Nation

The Sydney Morning Herald is reporting that the tiny Pacific nation of Tuvalu, built on a cultural clash of strict religious observance and a booming phone-sex industry, will become the newest member of the United Nations.
Impeached President Clinton has already placed a phone call to Tuvalu's leader to welcome them. In fact, he's placed many phones calls to the island already today.
[C. J. Burke]


Wednesday, February 16, 2000


Clinton Reading this Page

Bill Clinton was getting a kick out of reading this page recently. He even remarked to a new intern that the page is more about Hillary and Al Gore than about him these days.
The intern stopped what she was doing and replied, "sounds like your presidency."
[C. J. Burke]


Tuesday, February 15, 2000


Hillary Wants Rudy's Letters

Hillary Clinton wants Mayor Guiliani to release all his fund-raising letters. Rudy's response: he might do that -- when she releases all her billing records and the rest of the FBI files.
[C. J. Burke]


Monday, February 14, 2000


Bill's Valentine to Hillary

Even though we're hundreds of miles apart this Valentine's Day . . .

I love you now more than ever.

And if Hillary shows up in the Oval Office to find out why he loves her more when she's so far away, we'll be in for the second St. Valentine's Day Massacre.
[C. J. Burke]


Click here for an important note.



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