THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Gasoline, Playboy, Twinkies, Al, Bill & Hil
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Thursday, March 23, 2000
Twinkie Shortage!!
Due to a strike by truckers there is a serious Twinkie shortage in
the Northeast. Striking workers have claimed a moral victory in the
recent plummet in sales.
Management counters, however, that Bill Clinton is out of the country,
and sales always plummet when he's out of town.
[C. J. Burke]
Not Making Census
Al Gore is on the attack, going after Republicans for their
Constitutional method (uphold by the Supreme Court) of counting
the population for the 2000 census.
Says Al Gore, "Everyone knows that the most accurate way to count every
person in the United States is to make a total guess."
[C. J. Burke]
Wednesday, March 22, 2000
FBI Tracks Down Rapist in New Jersey
A nationwide search for a rapist who was released from prison
without prosecutors knowledge ended last night in New Jersey. The
man was charged with unlawful flight and failure to comply with "Megan's
Law". Officials captured the man as he stepped off a train in
Clinton township around 7:40 pm.
No word on why the rapist thought he'd be safe in Clinton, NJ.
[C. J. Burke]
Rudy's Rush to Judgment
Hillary Clinton blasted opponent NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani for
releasing information on prior arrests of the victim of buy-and-bust
operation that turned fatal, calling the disclosure a "rush to
judgment".
Hillary also announced that she will continue to seek federal
intervention to retry four bigoted, racist murdering police officers
recently cleared of all charges by a mixed-race jury.
[C. J. Burke]
And may we add that Hillary knows a little something about releasing
a file or two of her own.
Tuesday, March 21, 2000
Supreme Court Okays "Playboy" Prison Ban
Yesterday, the Supreme Court rejected an appeal by an Arizona inmate
to overturn a lower court ruling which allows the facility that he's
currently incarcerated in to ban Playboy magazine.
Bill Clinton told his lawyers, "Now that's another reason to keep
me out of prison."
[C. J. Burke]
Monday, March 20, 2000
High Gas Prices
The Clinton Adminstration continues to hang back and do nothing
about the recent surge in oil prices that threaten to cripple the
economy. Media spinsters are even trying to pin the blame on
gas-guzzling SUVs and complaints that other countries have higher
taxes on their gasoline and that we should feel lucky.
Meanwhile, many of the soccer moms, who own those SUVs, are
realizing that they don't feel so lucky. So much so that some
have suggested that Vice President Al Gore write a new book,
entitled Presidential Campaign In The Balance.
[C. J. Burke]
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