THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
No Fooling: Two Nuns, Leo and the Prez Boost the Economy
with 100 Year-Old Laws
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, April 7, 2000
Leo and the Prez
Washington has been abuzz ever since it was announced that ABC had
sent Titanic star Leonardo DiCaprio to interview
impeached president Bill Clinton.
Among the questions asked, "You know, Kate Winslet's got a really
great pair of hooters, don't you think?"
[cjburke@io.com]
And I bet you thought I was going to make a joke about Clinton
thinking he's "king of the world!"
Thursday, April 6, 2000
Two Nuns Indicted in Buddhist Fundraiser
Coming on the heels of the Maria Hsia conviction regarding Al Gore's
Buddhist temple fundraiser, two nuns have been indicted in the incident.
A spokesman for the vice president called the story a non-starter:
"Everyone knew that those two nuns were dirty, but Al's clean as a
whistle."
[cjburke@io.com]
Wednesday, April 5, 2000
Boosting the Economy
In the wake of the Microsoft Monopoly ruling, the Dow Jones Industrial
Average and the NASDAQ both went into tumbles of over 500 points before
recovering a little and starting downward again.
An angry Democrat nominee Al Gore walked into impeached president
Clinton's office and chastised, "Thanks for the boost to the economy, Bill."
Clinton replied, "No problem, Al. And thanks for backing me on Elian."
[cjburke@io.com]
Tuesday, April 4, 2000
One Hundred Year Old Laws
Supporters of Vice President Al Gore continue to dismiss all
criticism directed at the presidential candidate and his illegal
campagin fundraising practices as politically motivated hatchet
jobs from a right-wing venom machine and point out that the law
against making phone calls from government offices is over 100 years
old.
In other news, the Clinton Administration is celebrating a judge's
decision that Microsoft was found to be a monopoly under the Sherman
Antitrust Act of 1890...
[cjburke@io.com]
Monday, April 3, 2000
No April Fools Joke This Year
April Fools Day, when I traditionally put a fake
page, fell on a weekend this year, i.e., a day I don't normally update
the page.
You may have wondering if I would put a prank on the first weekday
of April and plant phony headlines, but I have decided not to. Why?
Because Al Gore is running on campaign finance reform, Bill Clinton
is lecturing people in Miami on the importance for the respect of the
rule of law, and Hillary is campaigning in New York on how Rudy
Guiliani has been bad for New York City.
What could I make up????
[cjburke@io.com]
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