THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

A Day of Irony, Hookers and School, John Rocker and a pre-Raid Reno Joke

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.


Friday, April 21, 2000


No Joke Today

In honor of the somberest and holiest days of the year, there will be no jokes today, Good Friday.

Happy Easter


Thursday, April 20, 2000


Softer, More Sensitive Approach

Attorney General Janet Reno has stated that when the final showdown comes and it is time to remove Elian from his Miami home, a softer, more sensitive approach will be needed than was used in Waco, Texas.
This time, she's thinking of sending in light tanks.
[C. J. Burke]


Wednesday, April 19, 2000


Rocker's Standing Ovation

Recently suspended Atlanta Braves pitcher, John Rocker, returned to the mound last night and was greeted to a standing ovation, despite the foul things he said in an interview earlier this year that warranted the suspension.
Critics were concerned by the crowd's reaction last night, but commentators had to note: Bill Clinton gets standing ovations all the time and he's far more repulsive than Rocker.
[C. J. Burke]


Tuesday, April 18, 2000


School and Hookers

Newsmax.com reported yesterday that the school Elian Gonzalez will attend after he is forcibly returned to Cuba is located next to a state-sanctioned brothel. Shortly after this was reported, Bill Clinton announced that not only was Elian to be returned to Cuba, but Clinton himself would escort the lad back for his first day at school.
[C. J. Burke]


Monday, April 17, 2000


A Day That Will Live in Irony

Today, April 17, 2000, we observe the following:
The press standing watch outside the Miami home of Cuban refugee Elian Gonzalez on the anniversary of the Bay of Pigs, when the U.S. once tried to topple the Cuban Communist regime.
Patriot's Day in Massachusetts, commemorating the Battle of Lexington and Concord following the tax revolt and the Boston Tea Party.
Tax Day: when we dutifully hand over our money to the government so it can harass its citizens and deport its guests back to Cuba.
[C. J. Burke]

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