THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, May 5, 2000

There's a dangerous virus going around. It starts when Bill Clinton tells you, "I love you." You either have to reciprocate and keep your mouth shut afterward or your files will be released and your reputation will be crashed and trashed.
[C. J. Burke]

Thursday, May 4, 2000

At a public school yesterday, Bill Clinton read a portion of the classic, Charlotte's Web, the part where Charlotte writes the words "Some Pig" in her web.
Ironically, those same words are woven in a spider web in the Oval Office.
[C. J. Burke]

E. B. White taught Bill Clinton early on the value of good PR and getting on the good side of those who write it.
[C. J. Burke]

The book had a definite influence on Bill Clinton because these days whoever gets caught up in his web of deceit gets sucked dry.
[C. J. Burke]

Wednesday, May 3, 2000

... and the reports indicate that the lover is still "at large."

Tuesday, May 2, 2000

A week after saying that she did what she had to do, Janet Reno is saying that she has no regrets over the Elian Operation. Which is a good thing. One almost feared she might have said, "Regrets, I've had a few . . . " and burst out into a resounding chorus of "My Way".

Next week at the MGM Grand: Reno does Vegas!
Maybe she'll open for Seigfried & Roy.
[C. J. Burke]

Monday, May 1, 2000

In a breaking story, ABC was been blocked from Time/Warner cable as a war of words rages on on both sides.
But behind the scenes, he's the scoop: Ted Turner is a major player at Time/Warner. Bill Clinton is a friend of Ted Turner. Clinton was upset that he didn't get picked for "Celebrity Millionaire" this week with Regis Philbin, so now no one gets to see it!
[C. J. Burke]

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