THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Fireworks, Left-Handedness and Drew Barrymore

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.


Friday, July 7, 2000


Chelsea and Drew Barrymore

Word is now that Chelsea is dating an actor, she's met some others on the set of his movie, including Drew Barrymore, who has become a close friend. Sources say that Hillary is not happy with the acquaintance, but a spokesperson said, "Not true, she just doesn't want her daughter to bring her over to the house for dinner or to come along on vacation."
[C. J. Burke]

Hey, not bad, three shots at Bill in one week. Lately, I've been taking the potshots at Gore and Hillary so often that there's not enough room for Bill. Who says that Bill isn't relevant? (Other than me, that is.)


Thursday, July 6, 2000


Left Handedness

A new survey shows that homosexuals have a 39% greater chance at being left-handed than straights.
Meanwhile, at the White House, Bill Clinton spent the morning fumbling with a pen in his right hand before telling an aide, "The hell with it! We just know that that's wrong."
[C. J. Burke]

Then again, no one actually thinks of Bill Clinton in terms of "left-handed" or "right-handed".
Just Underhanded.


Wednesday, July 5, 2000


Fireworks!

After the massive fireworks display in the Hudson and East Rivers, Bill Clinton was asked what he thought of the spectacle.
He replied candidly, "Wow! That was the best bang since . . ."
Then he realized that Hillary was standing there so he declined to name names.
[C. J. Burke]

And as stated before, the real fireworks were expected to begin after that!


Tuesday, July 4, 2000


Happy Birthday,
America!


Monday, July 3, 2000


On Vacation

[C. J. Burke]

Click here for an important note.



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