THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

The Campaigns, Weather, Movies, Bias and more

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Thursday, August 10, 2000

Obvious Bias
It's been implied that anyone who wouldn't vote for an Orthodox Jew for VP wouldn't be voting for Gore anyone (implied, hell, Cokie said so). If that's the case, the GOP should soon be welcoming the (now former) head of the Dallas chapter of the NAACP. And Louis Farrakhan.

Meanwhile, Gore is demanding that Rep. Loretta Sanchez cancel her fundraiser benefiting Hispanic Unity USA which will take place August 15 at the Playboy mansion. Obviously, Al Gore is biased and has something against Hispanic Unity.
[C. J. Burke]

He's probably concerned that Hispanics are voting for Bush anyway.
Hey, Al, do we really want an anti-woman, anti-Hispanic president in the White House?

Wednesday, August 9, 2000

Clinton Promises to Leave Convention
Impeached president Clinton promises to leave the Democrat Convention after giving his speech next week. A spokesman said, "who wants to hang around a stuffy, boring convention center when you can go cruise Santa Monica Blvd."
[C. J. Burke]

It's suspected that when Bill leaves, Hillary will, too. Just in case.

Tuesday, August 8, 2000

This Weekend's Movies

With all the RNC and DNC pundits trying to spin whether "Hollow Man" was the life story of Al Gore or George W. Bush, no one seemed to notice Hillary and Chelsea taking a break from the campaign trail to catch a viewing of "Coyote Ugly".
[C. J. Burke]

Monday, August 7, 2000

Gore Campaign Slogan

G O R E / L I E
- B E R M A N
2 0 0 0
[C. J. Burke]
By picking Lieberman, Al is apparently trying to sew up that anti-Clinton vote.
[C. J. Burke]
Friday, August 4, 2000

Sky's the Limit
In his convention speech, George W. Bush pointed out, that in Midland, Texas, where Bush grew up, the town motto is "the sky is the limit", and this should be the motto of his campaign.
Hillary immediately decried this as an attempt to look like a Democrat because he's co-opting her "Excelsior: Ever Upward" motto from her home state of New York.
[C. J. Burke]

Thursday, August 3, 2000

Coolest July in Years in DC and New York
Meteorologists have announced that July 2000, despite threats of global warming, was the coolest July in years for both New York City and Washington, D.C., which between the two had only one 90-degree day.
Scientists are at a loss to explain the month-long cold front, except to say that Hillary had looked at her poll numbers and things got kind of frosty really fast!
[C. J. Burke]
Hillary Goes to Long Island, Part II
An anonymous follow-up to yesterday's joke:
Hillary went to Long Island . . .
. . . but she was voted off.
[anonymous]

Wednesday, August 2, 2000

Hillary Goes to Long Island
Hillary Clinton decided to go straight to Lazio country to campaign and traveled yesterday to Long Island.
Immediately, an Amish family greeted her and welcomed her to Long Island, Pennsylvania.
[C. J. Burke]
Meanwhile, Lazio spent yesterday campaigning in Philadelphia, where the Republican National Convention is taking place. According to the campaign, at least when he campaigns in Pennsylvania, it's because that's where he's planned to go.
[C. J. Burke]

Tuesday, August 1, 2000

Unusual Sound Bytes
Hillary Clinton is accusing the GOP of "photo-op politics", and some Democrats, like Sen. Tom Harkin, are decrying Cheney's deferments that kept him out of Viet Nam.
And this just in, the pot has called the kettle "black".
[C. J. Burke]

Monday, July 31, 2000

Sam Donaldson and Coke in the White House
Sam Donaldson pressed GOP VP nominee with the question: "Should someone who used cocaine be president?"
Sam, it's a little late in the Clinton presidency to be going after him for that now, isn't it?
[C. J. Burke]
Click here for an important note.

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