Friday, September 1, 2000
Al Gore has denounced Bush's across-the-board tax cuts in favor of more moderate, itty-bitty, targeted tax cuts that you only get when . . .
Well, let's put it this way:
You put your elderly over there . . .
You do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around
That's what it's all about.
[C. J. Burke]
"He's got a nose like a vacuum."
Even though Hillary is glad to have Chelsea around campaigning
with her, rumor has it that there is one area of contention
between the two of them. It seems that Chelsea has picked up
a disgusting cigarette habit from her classmate at Stanford.
Which, all things being equal, isn't so bad. After all,
she could have picked up her father's disgusting cigar habit.
Actually, it doesn't seem like I've missed anything at all. Same old,
same old.
[C. J. Burke]
The Secret Service cancelled a DNC party at the Playboy mansion and switched it
to Universal City at the last moment because they wouldn't be able to provide
enough security for the girls should Clinton show up.
Click here for an important note.
Wednesday, August 30, 2000
Bill Clinton is in Columbia today.
Let's face it, you want good coke, you go to the source.
[C. J. Burke]
Tuesday, August 29, 2000
[C. J. Burke]
Monday, August 28, 2000
10. David Schippers' book "Sellout: The
Inside Story of President Clinton's Impeachment" is slated for
release Sept 1. It's slated to be reviewed by The New York
Times in 2006.
9. A federal judge dismissed the defamation suit
Gennifer Flowers brought against James Carville, noting "he looks like
a snake, he acts like a snake, he slithers like a snake -- he's a
snake all right. But you can't sue animals without upsetting PETA
wackos, and who wants that?"
8. Flunkies of Al Gore (potential beneficiary of a
million-dollar, petroleum-based trust fund) attacked the GOP ticket as being
in the pocket of Big Oil.
7. Dan Rather still hasn't apologized for reporting
as news that the GOP (and Bush in particular) leaked information from
the office of the Independent Counsel (a Democrat) when in fact a federal
judge appointed by Jimmy Carter was the source of the leak . . .
6. . . . but that's to be expected when Mort
Zuckerman can run critical editorials in the New York Daily News
about "Bush's" leak days after the judge admitted to being the source.
5. Clinton tried to personally greet all the female
Survivors, but failed.
4. Winning Survivor and new-gay-icon
Richard tried to personally greet Clinton, but failed.
3. Hillary Clinton once again challenged Rick Lazio to
Senatorial debates
while apparently toatlly unaware of the debate challenges (and
even the existence) of her Democrat primary opponent.
2. Clinton is turning to Chelsea for help with his
foreign affairs -- it
seems Chels knows a number of female exchange students.
. . . and the number one story . . .
1. Bill Clinton is now taking credit from Al Gore for the
Internet!
Monday, August 21, 2000
[Vasco de Sena]
Clinfinition and Hillaryous are
trademarks of C. J. Burke's Bill Clinton Joke-of-the-Day Page.
Some of the images seen in these pages originated at the White House home
page. Visit them at http://www.whitehouse.gov.