Then we heil
Where's Spike Jones when you need him?
[C. J. Burke]
Q: How can one discern a Democrat's intention?
A: Look at his dimple.
[David Beard]
Monday, November 20, 2000
[C. J. Burke]
Friday, November 17, 2000
"How the Dems Stole Florida"
"RugDemocrats in Palm Beach"
"Post-Election Vote-Manipulated Bounce"
"The 6th Day of Re-re-recounting"
"Pay It Broward"
"What's Cooking (Other than the Ballots)?"
"Men of Dishonor"
"Algore's Devils"
"Little Stinky"
"The Legend of Carpetbagger Hillary"
[C. J. Burke]
Thursday, November 16, 2000
Top 10 Signs Al Gore is Really Losing It
10. Now he wants manual recounts in all 52 states.
9. When informed that there are only 50 states,
he wanted those recounted, too.
8. Plans to sign executive order removing "W"
from the alphabet as soon as he's declared the inner.
7. Called his environmental friends at the WWF
for help, but none of the restlers knew what he was talking about.
6. Thinks he may have voted for Pat
Buchanan.
5. Seen proclaiming "I save the environment,
except for the bushes!"
4. Stated in Internet chat room, "machines can't
be trusted". Has aides calling him "Mr. Almost President".
3. Seen shopping for berets and placing want ads
for interns.
2. He's proposing a Vice President's Bill of
Rights, which includes right of succession.
1. He's asking Bill for his opinion.
[C. J. Burke]
Wednesday, November 15, 2000
Al Gore has opened a Pandora's Box in Florida.
He was looking for some more votes inside it.
[C. J. Burke]
Some have wondered why the media won't cut Gore down to size for all the tricks his team is pulling and for what he's putting the country through.
But the fact is that they can't cut Gore down to size.
That would require a lumberjack.
[C. J. Burke]
Tuesday, November 14, 2000
The people have spoken and they want Gore to go, so now he's
finally looking
for a controlling legal authority ... one on the Democrat payroll.
[C. J. Burke]
This Just In from Florida: Chad Dimple is pregnant. Or was it that Pregnant Chad is dimpled?
Hillary Clinton is looking to abolish the electoral college since it doesn't reflect the wishes of the nation's population and doesn't allow for proportional representation.
One wonders if Hillary will go one step further then and use the same logic to abolish the United States Senate.
[C. J. Burke]
Impeached President Bill Clinton is set for another foreign affairs trip. According to a spokesman, there's a mess in Florida and Hillary's rising in power, wouldn't you want to flee the country?
[C. J. Burke]
Thursday, November 9, 2000
Al Gore continues to flip-flop on everything.
Now he's even flip-flopped on carrying Florida or not.
First Al Gore flunks out of Divinity School.
Then he drops out of law school.
Now it looks he may fail the Electoral College, too.
[Submitted by C. J. Burke, overheard]
Monday, November 6, 2000
Q: What did Tennessee?
A: The same thing Arkansas.... a Bush victory!
If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey, what did Delaware?
(Just a sec, Alaska ...) A Bush-Cheney 2000 T-Shirt!
[Submitted by C. J. Burke, based on some really old
jokes]
Friday, November 3, 2000
Bill Clinton says that electing Gore is the next best thing to
electing him for a third term.
Thank you, Mr. Clinton, for the best reason to vote for Bush.
[C. J. Burke]
Hillary got a make-up artist and asked him to transformed her into Glinda the Good Witch for Halloween.
Unfortunately, he said, to accomplish that, he'd have to be the wonderful Wizard of Oz!
[C. J. Burke]
Tuesday, October 31, 2000
This Just In . . . Airspace over much of New York
will be restricted today as
Hillary will be arriving to all her fundraisers by broomstick.
[C. J. Burke]
Monday, October 30, 2000
Q: Why does Mrs. Hillary Clinton avoid Yankee Stadium so
much?
A: She heard it was the House that Truth Built.
[C. J. Burke]
Her husband, on the other hand, wants to meet Ruth -- he heard
that she's a Babe.
[C. J. Burke]
(*) -- what else could expect from someone wanting to bring us a Brave New World.
Editor's note: indulge me, folks, please. I'm having way too much fun!
Two Secret Service agents stopped for coffee this fine Monday
morning. The first said to the other, "Did you watch the games this
weekend? Man, I couldn't believe how many broken bats were
flying around."
The second replied, "That's nothing. I was guarding the Clintons
all weekend. I couldn't believe how many broken lamps and vases were
flying around."
[C. J. Burke]
Click here for an important note.
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