Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.
Friday, December 1, 2000
Count every ballot!
Check every chad!
Examine every dimple!
C'mon, I'm not that bad...
[C. J. Burke]
Butterfly Ballots
from the inspiration album of the same name
"There are two things I know for sure.
I won this election, and if I lost I'll cheat.
I went down to Florida to put up a fight
They called it for me first on Election Night
But it seems there's a problem down south in Palm Beach
all because of . . .
Butterfly ballots
That are making me sore
Votes for Buchanan
Should've gone to Al Gore!
Elderly voters all were to confused
They were all too stupid -- now I feel abused!
What they all did wrong, I'll sue to make all right
So I won't lose my election
From butterfly ballots that bite."
[C. J. Burke]
Al Gore
to the tune of "Young Girl"
Al Gore,
Get out of my state
My dislike of you is turning to hate!
You better leave, Al!
I'm gonna heave, Al!
[C. J. Burke]
Sit Down and Recount the Vote
from the Broadway musical,
Gores and Dolls
"I dreamed last night that we had a new election,
When the returns came in, I was running very strong.
And there I stood and I hollered, 'I'm the winner!!'
And everyone around me said, 'You're wrong.'
"And I said to my staff, 'Sit down. Sit down and start
hitting the phones!
"Tell the canvassing boards, 'Sit down and start
counting the votes!'
"Let's find our favorite counties, and make them count
every vote by hand!
"Sit down! Sit down! Sit down! Sit down!
"Sit down, recounting the vote!"
[C. J. Burke]
Tomorrow
from the Broadway musical,
Allie
I'll see you in court, tomorrow.
Get your briefs together 'cause tomorrow I will sue.
'Cause I'll have my way, tomorrow.
Overturn elections, endless recounts -- 'ts what I do.
When I'm stuck with a vote that's totally bogus
I started rejoice with Boies and say . . .
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
We'll sue you, tomorrow
And finally get my way!
[C. J. Burke]
Thursday, November 30, 2000
sorry for the days off -- let me try to catch up!
Actually, Bill Clinton has already started getting hookers off of the
streets of Manhattan. In fact, he's brought several of them up to
Chappaqua.
[C. J. Burke]
Tuesday, November 28, 2000
| He's from Arkansas |
| He lives in Washington, D.C. |
| His house is upstate |
| ................... |
| And this page could continue until another Election Day?? |
Talk about mixed emotions!!
But then again, the loooooong list of Democrats ready to jump in the
race won't be very happy at all.
[C. J. Burke]
Monday, November 27, 2000
Flackies for impeached President Bill Clinton have announced that the
millions of dollars and White House office space earmarked for the
president-elect (George W. Bush) will not be released yet.
According to a spokesman, "Mr. Clinton has to move some of his spare
interns out of that office."
[C. J. Burke]
Click here for an important note.
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