THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
McDougal, Screwdrivers, Ins and Outs and Buddy Gets Neutered
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Clinton in Space
Bill Clinton was recently asked if he'd like to be John Glenn's backup
astronaut on his Shuttle voyage.
His reply: I'd love to but I've had too many Starr Tripps lately.
[joseph m cottone, joecott1@juno.com]
Thursday, March 12, 1998
Clinton the Screwdriver
Q: What's the difference between President Clinton and
a screwdriver?
A: A screwdriver turns in screws.
[James W. Williams III, jwwilliams@kih.net]
Wednesday, March 11, 1998
Okay, Let's Get This Over With
Note: Please, please!, don't send me a
hundred copies of this or a similar joke.
Hillary Clinton was talking to a reporter in the Rose Garden when she
spotted Bill and Buddy coming back from a walk. She turned, smiled and
gave a big wave.
"You'll have to excuse me," the First Lady told the reporter. "I'm
being extra-nice because he's being neutered."
The reporter laughed, and asked, "Which one?"
Hillary returned the laugh. "Both."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
The President's Plane is Missing
News Item: Air traffic controllers were unnerved yesterday
when the President's plane, Air Force One, disappear
off their radar screens for approximately thirty seconds.
I guess Bill will try anything to sneak in a quickie.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Monday, March 9, 1998
The Ins and Outs of Bill Clinton
If you're tracking all the ins and outs of Bill Clinton:
The Ins: indicted, incarcerated, interred
The Outs: outrageous excuses, out and out
lies
If you've been keeping track, shift a number from the incarcerated
column to the interred column.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Sympathy Card
Did you hear about the six-word sympathy card circulating in the White
House?
It says: You can't libel a dead man.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Does This Count?
President Clinton contacted jailbird Susan McDougal yesterday about
her husband untimely -- or very timely, depending upon whom you ask --
death. He wanted to assure her that he realizes that her husband's passing
makes her available again.
Bill's Rule: It's not adultery if she's not married any more.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
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