THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Clinton Stops Smoking, Leaks, Assault Weapons and Paula
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, April 10, 1998
Clinton To Stop Kids From Smoking
President Clinton's has unveiled his new campaign strategy aimed
at preventing teen smoking: Just Don't Inhale.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Thursday, April 9, 1998
Now THIS Baseball Joke I'll Print
Bill Clinton was in Kansas City for his Social Security gathering
yesterday and afterward was at the Royals home opening game to throw out
the first pitch. It seems that Major League Baseball has outlawed
spitballs but slimeballs are still allowed.
[Scott Slocum, scotts@alpha-1.bankline.net]
Wednesday, April 8, 1998
Clinton to Stop Leaks
When word came out that Ken Starr had started writing the report
that could ultimately lead to the President's impeachment, Bill Clinton
demanded that all unlawful leaks be stopped immediately.
An aide that put a lock on Mr. Clinton's zipper.
A Clinton spokesman, responding to the Washington
Post story said, "Someone is going to lose their job over
this."
We can only hope.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Tuesday, April 7, 1998
Clinton's Assault Weapon Ban
Heard yesterday on the radio:
"Clinton wants to ban assault weapons. He should start with
the one between his legs!
[unknown caller, WABC,
"Hannity's Insanity", 4/6/98]
Monday, April 6, 1998
Justice for Clinton
From a statement the President made to the press (sort of):
"If I were a regular Joe Six-Pack, I'd be sorry that I couldn't
afford 40 high-priced attorneys preventing me from having my day
in court. But as the President of the United States, I'm glad
this affair is over because it proves that despite dozens of
convictions, indictments and resignations, the charges against
me are totally baseless."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
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