THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Easter, Interns, Taxes and Race

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, April 17, 1998


Clinton On Race

On Tuesday, April 14, 1998, President Clinton said: "I've hired hundreds and hundreds of minorities [as governor of Arkansas and President]. Nobody ever accused me of giving jobs to people that weren't qualified."

Today, I am replying (as if one is necessary): "I've told hundreds and hundreds of jokes [as operator of the Clinton Joke of the Day Page]. Nobody ever accused me of telling a joke that wasn't funny."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

How am I supposed to stay in business when the stuff he actually says is crazier than anything that can be made up?

Thursday, April 16, 1998


Tax Day Highlights

Bill Clinton to his tax preparer: "Why can't I deduct depreciation on the Lincoln Bedroom and Air Force One as rental property?"
Al Gore to his tax preparer: "There is no controlling legal authority saying that I can't deduct money laundering fees charged by the Buddhist nuns."
Hillary Rodham Clinton to taxpayers: "Thanks for your contribution to the Village. We will be using it to raise your children because we can do a better job. Also, you won't have time to raise your kids as you work to pay taxes."
[Bill Feeney (bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com, delete NOT for email)]

Wednesday, April 15, 1998


Clinton Book Deal

Reports have it that President Clinton is close to signing a book deal for his life story after he leaves the White House for seven figures. Sources on the inside say that one of those figures will be Tyra Banks.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Tuesday, April 14, 1998


How Many Interns

Q: How does President Clinton keep track of the number of interns he has working for him?
A: He does a head count.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
(Maybe that should say "working on him"?)

Monday, April 13, 1998


Egg Hunt

Q: What did President Clinton do with the egg he found on the White House lawn?
A: He fertilized it.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Easter Bunny

An aide told Bill Clinton that a bunny would be brought in for the White House Easter egg hunt. He said, "Cool! They have the cutest tails. Is it Miss April or Miss May?"
[Bill Feeney (bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com, delete NOT for email)]

Click here for an important note.


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