THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Fatherhood, the X-Files, and the Tax Code

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.


Friday, June 19, 1998


The X-Files!

President Clinton was among the first in line to see the new X-Files movie. A spokesman said, however, that the President was disappointed when he found out that "X" was part of the movie title and not the rating.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

After the movie, the President returned to the White House, and retired to the Lincoln Bedroom to peruse the A through I files from his own FBI collection.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Thursday, June 18, 1998


Repealing the Tax Code

The House f Representatives voted to scrap the tax code in its entirety and install a replacement by July 4, 2002. The President quickly came to the defense of the Internal Revenue Service, saying that we should keep the laws we have now.
"You shouldn't get rid of what you have until you know what you're going to replace it with," he said. "That the reason why I'm still with Hillary."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Wednesday, June 17, 1998


Unqiue Contribution

Al Gore has said, at a conference on fatherhood, that we now know that fathers offer a unique contribution. He discovered this when 5,000 unique Chinese fathers gave him 5,000 unique donations.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

The V.P. was proud to discover that he had a unique contribution to make in the lives of his own children. Too bad he didn't figure that out sometime in the 70s when it might have helped.
Hey, Al, now spell 'potatoe' for us.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Tuesday, June 16, 1998


The Long and Short of It

News Item: By executive order, starting October 1, all federal documents will be written in simple English readable by everyone, as opposed to the usual bureaucrat-ease decipherable only by lawyers.

Al Gore added that "Short is better than long. Active is better than passive."

Tipper Gore immediately agreed, and hoped Al would become more animated.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Monday, June 15, 1998


A Few Random Historical Quotes

"Give Caesar what is do Caesar . . . "
"You have to give the devil his due."
"My fellow Americans, I thank you for your contributions and ask only that everyone pay their fair share."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

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