THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

The Top 5 Most High-Risk, Dangerous Jobs in Washington
5. The guy who starts Monica's car.
4. Lucianne Goldberg's food taster.
3. Debate practice partner for Chester J. Carville.
2. Former Clinton businees associate.
1. Independent prosecutor
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

I've seen a bit of press coverage lately -- mostly British press, naturally -- on the President's son, Danny Jefferson Williams, son of a Little Rock prostitute Bobby Ann Williams. (Meetings between Williams and Clinton have been affirmed by Arkansas Trooper Danny Young.) This has caused some static on the Internet lately that Clinton is a hypocrite for recently attacking absentee fathers.

Now, for once, I have to defend the President. After all, it was absentee fathers they were complaining about, but deadbeat dads. Now considering that the son of an Little Rock prostitute is currently being schooled in Australia, I would think that someone is sending a few dollars down south.
[submitted by C. J. Burke]

Tuesday, June 30, 1998

Clinfinition(tm): Peking Duck: Bill Clinton's two-step guide for looking into girls' dorm windows.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
[Note: previous Clinfinitions(tm) can be found in the archives.]

Monday, June 29, 1998

Today's joke was pre-empted after hearing a call from "Carl of Oyster Bay" on the Ed Koch program on WABC 770 AM. The gist of the call follows:

You have to hand to President Clinton for standing there denouncing China for sending the tanks into Tiananmen Square particularly after he sent the tanks into Waco.

You also have to hand it to Clinton for denouncing the rounding up of dissidents, particulary when he's rounding up anyone critical of him for questioning and harassment.

Note: Koch told Carl that Carl occasionally comes off like an idiot and today was one of those days. He wouldn't let Carl finish the second point and professed ignorance of any instance where someone asking Clinton a tough question was visited by the S.S. As for Waco, Koch said Reno was given the wrong information and that she believed that children were being abused.

Aint that always the way, it's "for the children". All the children in the Koresh compound perished in a blazing inferno.
[submitted by C. J. Burke]

Actual AP News story: Oral Arguments Set in Lewinsky Case
Gives new meaning to the word "headline".
[submitted by C. J. Burke]

Click here for an important note.