THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Thurdsday, July 9, 1998

Former Time (partner of CNN) White House correspondent, Nina Burleigh, says that she would be happy to don presidential kneepads for Clinton "just to thank him for keeping abortion legal." She denies that her reporting was biased in favor of Clinton. Of course not. Why jeopardize the objectivity that Time and their CNN partners, including Peter Arnett, Rick Kaplan, Ted Turner have worked so hard to achieve?
[Bill Feeney, http://www.floodlight-findings.com, bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com] (edited)

Wednesday, July 8, 1998

China has fired all 650 fulltime spies operating in the USA as they are no longer needed. China has Pres Clinton working for them.
[Reed Gibby, rgibby@facultypo.csuchico.edu>]

Tuesday, July 7, 1998

Congressional Democrats have been upset with the President for hogging most of the DNC money raised in 1996 while leaving many in the party vulnerable in their own local races. It seems that this imbalance still hasn't been corrected. In fact, the imbalance is so out-of-whack that the Oval Office can now be referred to as a "Den of In-equity."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Thank you. Your groans are award enough.

Monday, July 6, 1998

When the President arrived home and was asked how he enjoyed the trip, he broke into a song and dance routine . . .

"Nothing could be finer,
Then to wake up in Red China,
In the morning . . . "
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

If any of my older readers want to take a stab at finishing the above ditty and send it in, I'll consider printing it. (I asked for "older" readers because they're more likely to recognize the tune.)

Why isn't Chester J. Carville out there complaining, "Forty Million Dollars and he got nothin'! Nothin'!" Because that's how much Bill Clinton spent to go to China and that's what he accomplished.

Click here for an important note.