THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, July 17, 1998

This parody, to the tune of "Gee! Officer Krupkee" from West Side Story, was posted on the Free Republic at http://www.freerepublic.com/forum/a407523.htm. I haven't gotten permission to repost it here yet, so I just linked it. Enjoy.

Thursday, July 16, 1998

The following was found in a Free Republic forum:

• The leaks stoped because of the warning the judges gave star after the Brill article.
• Willeys cat ran away.
• Foster committed suicide.
• The weather during Ron Brown's flight caused the crash.
• Hillary was just lucky in cattle futures.
• The missing chip from the rocket was simply lost..
• Those boys fell asleep on the traintracks.
• Roger Clinton never bought drugs for his brother.
• Clinton only had sex once with Flowers.
• Paula Jones made up her story.
• Billy Dale was fired for good cause.
• Its hard to remember everyone you hire as white house security.
• Linda Tripp only wanted to sell a book.
• Luccianne Goldberg is just getting even for Nixon.

Wednesday, July 15, 1998

Earlier this week, at a function for the preservation of the Star-Spangled Banner that inspired F. Scott Key to write our national anthem, a loud pop sent Secret Service members into action. It turned out that a videocamera battery had overheated and exploded. Standing nearby in the crowd, Chelsea Clinton was unfazed and never flinched.
Apparantly, the young Miss Clinton is used to being near loud popping noises.

Yesterday, the First Lady's bus caravan halted and waited for over an hour for a replacement bus to arrive. One of the buses, one used by members of the press only was found to have faulty brakes.
I know the First Lady has wanted to get the press off her back lately, but this ridiculous.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Tuesday, July 14, 1998

On the "Today" show this morning, Hillary Clinton mentioned that Thomas Edison had a cot in his workroom so he could get rest when he needed it. In response, Maria Shriver quipped that maybe her hardworking husband should have a bed in the Oval Office for when he needs it. Hillary agreed it was a good idea.
Meanwhile, back in D.C., the President was on the phone to Dial-A-Matress.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Monday, July 13, 1998

On "Meet the Press", 7/12/98, Rep. Barney Frank had this to say about Ken Starr:"

"He's like Captain Ahab going after the great white whale."

Now, perhaps Rep. Frank knows the President better than I do, but it's been my personal observation that Bill Clinton has lost weight while in office as is looking rather trim.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

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