THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, July 31, 1998

Q: What is the difference between China and the Clinton White House?
A: One has a stonewall completely surrounding it. The other is a country in Asia.
[Bill Feeney, bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com, delete NOT for email]

[Bill Feeney, bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com, delete NOT for email]

Thursday, July 30, 1998

Live! from Morris County, New Jersey, former home of the world-famous witness for the prosecution . . .

William Clinton would whet his lip
When Monica "gave him the slip"
But that little phrase
Was taken other ways
When he tried trashing Linda R. Tripp.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Linda Tripp told the folks in the press,
"I'm a person, like you and no less."
It's not about sex,
But the lies he erects.
Now it's the White House team in distress.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Wednesday, July 29, 1998

News Headline: Clinton on Lewinsky: "I'm Happy It Worked Out for Her"
Is this how the problem started? And how can the President tell that it worked out for her and that she wasn't faking it?
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Bad news for the President. Looks like their won't be any Powerball winners around the White House.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Q: Why did Clinton claim that he never completed a sex act with Monica Lewinsky?
A: Because whenever she put on her presidential kneepads, Geraldo pushed her out of the way.
[Submitted by Lucianne Goldberg. Yes, that Lucianne Goldberg.]

Tuesday, July 28, 1998

Defenders of the President are saying that he should defy Ken Starr on Constitutional grounds that the President cannot be subpoenaed. One source said that Bennett could have that thing quashed "quicker than Bill Clinton could drop his pants."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Monday, July 27, 1998

Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The President asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink.

The minister replied in disgust, "Ma'am, I'd rather be savagely raped by a gang of brazen whores than let liquor touch these lips!"

The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a choice..."
[Submitted by Chuck A. Jones]

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