THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Fall Season, Russia, Democrats Turning, and the Teletubbies
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, September 4, 1998
The Democrats Turn
The President was in Ireland when he was informed that the Democrats
are starting to turn against him.
Bill Clinton shook his head. "I don't get it."
The aide replied, "Sir, if that were true, you wouldn't be in
this mess."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Leiberman's Speech
The White House tried to prevent Sen. Leiberman from making his speech
until the President returned from Ireland. Erskin Bowles told the senator
that he couldn't attack the President when he was on foreign soil.
Why not? The President attacked the U.S. when he was on foreign soil!
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Thrusday, September 3, 1998
Top 5 Reasons for the Trip To Russia
5. Yeltsin willing to trade his interns for
vodka.
4. Russia is on the other side of the world
from Ken Starr.
3. Lying and adultery by government officials is an
honored tradition in Russia.
2. No extradition treaty with the U.S.
1. Chinese ambassador in Moscow called
Clinton to pick up some cash.
[Bill Feeney (bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com,
delete "NOT" for email), edited by C. J. Burke]
Wednesday, September 2, 1998
The Fall (Election) Season
Coming this fall on DCTV:
House Improvement: Featuring the bumbling, but
charismatic leader who tries to remake the House in his own image, but
fails miserably.
Freezer: A staff of loyal friends and coworkers gets
left out in the cold and start calling a radio shrink.
UR: Everyone will have all the health care they'll
ever need, and who's going to pay for it? (Read the title again.)
Monica's Closet: Screwball comedy about the latest
fashionable kneeware in D.C.
Ellen: the Next Generation: Wonderful
alternate-family fare.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Tuesday, September 1, 1998
The Teletubbies Connection
It has come to light that the popular PBS Teletubbies
series is actually just another blatant attempt to place a warm, fuzzy
image on the scoundrels in Washington, DC. In fact, the four cuddly
little creatures secretly represent the First and Second Couples of our
nation. Consider:
- Dipsy: Obviously a reference to Al Gore, the green
coloring symbolic of his environmentalcase status as well as Buddhist
donations.
- Laa Laa: Represents Tipper Gore's involvement in
the music industry and the color she turned (yellow) when she confronted
by the likes of Frank Zappa, Dee Schneider and John Denver at the same
time.
- Po Li'l Hillary knew nothing about her husband's
indiscretions, but you can imagine what color she turned when she found
out.
- Tinky Winky: Hmmm, okay, either Gennifer Flowers
told the folks at PBS something that we don't know yet or this analogy
is breaking down. Then again, maybe this is the Great Lie
we've been hearing about. Of course, I'd be kind of purple
if my winky is just a little tinky.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Monday, August 31, 1998
Clinton's Caberet Problem
President Clinton stopped by the famed Algonquin Hotel in NYC recently
and took in the caberet show, but he ran into problem when the diva on
stage wouldn't change the lyrics to "I'm Forever Blowing
Bubbles".
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
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