THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, September 18, 1998

Isn't it ironic that the White House's game plan for handling all the scandals has been Delay and Hyde?
Too bad, he didn't act like Sam Nunn.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Thursday, September 17, 1998

Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened. About an hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of fine malt scotch in one hand, a Cuban cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. "What happened to you?!" asked Bill. "Well, the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the scotch, and his beautiful 19 year old daughter just kissed me and kissed me and kissed me," mumbled the driver.
"My goodness, man! What did you tell them?" asks Clinton.
The driver replied, "I just said: I'm Bill Clinton's driver and I just killed the pig."
[Melody Von Einem, melo@prysm.net]

Wednesday, September 16, 1998

From MASSINGHAM, massgrab@asiaonline.net:
Thinking about the as yet to be explained episode with the cigar, I was wondering whether Monica was trying to amuse Bill by attempting to do an impression of Fidel Castro.

(Others have added that if it was a Cuban cigar, then perhaps we have a 12th offense. CJB)

From CUDJOKE@aol.com:
My friend Jerry asks, "I wonder if the cigar he used was an EL PRESIDENTE?"

From Anonymous, please!:
Q: How does Bill Clinton practise safe sex?
A: He doesn't light the cigar.

From Stacey Neufeld, neufeld@ezonline.com:
Did you hear that Bill Clinton is finally preparing for his future after the White House? He's marketing his own brand of Scotch Guard in all the Washington dress shops!

From sizzle@tcac.net:
If Clinton dropped his pants in the woods and there was no intern around, does this mean the end of virgin forest? -- Neal Boortz, from http://www.boortz.com/nealznuz.htm

Tuesday, September 15, 1998

President Clinton was in New York City yesterday doing the work of the American people -- fundraising for Democrats. Afterward, he attended a performance of "The Lion King"
.
.
.
Okay, do I really have to make the joke here, or is it that obvious?
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Monday, September 14, 1998

Q: Who will be the next woman to sleep with the President?
A: Tipper Gore.
(Think about it.)
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Click here for an important note.