THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Cartoons, Disneyworld, Road Trips, Tonight Show and the Gap

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, October 9, 1998


It Sure Aint Disneyworld

Mr. President, you've just been voted the subject of the third impeachent inquiry in our nation's history. What are you going to do now?
"I going to scorch the Earth."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Actually, this weekend is the Clinton's 23rd wedding anniversary. As a present, Bill is sending Hillary on an all-expenses paid vacation -- to Bulgaria. Two crazy lovebirds.

Thursday, October 8, 1998


Fall Into the Gap

I went to the Gap and asked the salesperson if they still carried the same blue dress that Monica Lewinsky used as evidence in the Presidential scandal. She said"Are you able to wait a moment while I call another store for a spot check?"
[Submitted by Deborah D'Amico, feb2464@aol.com]

A Tonight Show Joke

Linda Tripp is sooo fat . . .
. . . if she gained 50 pounds, she'd be Jay Leno.
Of course, most of that would be chin-weight.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


Wednesday, October 7, 1998


The President and the Web

Did you hear that the President got excited by his new online service? He thought he heard that he'd get his own personal "ho page".
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Then again, Teddy Kennedy was interested, too. He's been looking for a good ho' page to handle his briefs in the Senate for years.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


Tuesday, October 6, 1998


Seven Little Words

Q: What seven little words can make all Clinton's problems go away so that Washington can get back to business of running the country?
A: "I resign the Presidency effective noon tomorrow."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Road Trip

Did you hear that President Clinton was going to Tennesee? He heard that Dolly Would.
[Anonymous submission]


Monday, October 5, 1998


New Cartoons!

Now on videotape, from Disney, the classic story of a Presidential couple: First Lady and the Tramp.

And now in theaters from Dreamworks, the story of James Carville leading an army of workers to defend his "Aunt" Hillary: Rantz!
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

! ! ! B L A S T * F R O M * T H E * P A S T ! ! !

Check out these previous Disney movie jokes:


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