THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Clinfinitions(tm), Nightmare, Card Games and Bonds

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, October 16, 1998


Clinton's Nightmare

Did you hear that President Clinton had a nightmare last night?
He dreamed that he was Dolly Parton's baby boy and he was being bottle fed.
[tw46@erols.com]

Thursday, October 15, 1998


Monica Moving to New York

Monica Lewinsky has decided to move out of the Watergate complex and try her luck in New York City. A spokesman for Bill Clinton said, "Sure, but she couldn't do that last year."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Clinton Bonds

Did you hear about the three new bonds that the government is issuing to help defray the Starr investigation costs?
1. The Lewinsky Bond - it has no maturity.
2. The Gore Bond - it has no interest.
3. The Clinton Bond - it has no principle.
[Submitted by karen morello, windrift@silcom.com]


Wednesday, October 14, 1998


Clinton's Favorite Card Game

Q: What's Bill Clinton's favorite card game?
A: Poker!
[scoker1, scoker1@bellsouth.net]

Clinfinition(tm) #28: Family Leave Act

Clinfinition(tm): Family Leave Act The two-step process for fooling around with interns:
Step 1: Family Leave
Step 2: Act!
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


Tuesday, October 13, 1998


The Truth About Willey

The White House Spin Team, afraid that assault charges are forthcoming regarding Kathleen Willey, are trying to explain away the situation. It seems that the President did not fondle Ms. Willey. Actually, it was National Breast Cancer Awareness Week and he was only checking for lumps.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Clinfinition(tm) #27: Improper Syntax

Clinfinition(tm): Improper Syntax A tax on any improper activity other than beer and cigarettes.
Sample sentence: A tax on condoms would be an improper syntax.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Some Previous Clinfinitions(tm)


Monday, October 12, 1998


Happy Columbus Day!

In honor of the anniversary of Columbus's arrival in America, the President sailed across his 506th intern.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
The Politically Correct Version

In honor of the anniversary of Columbus's raping the New World . . .
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


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