THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Halloween with Gore, Glenn, Paula and Bill
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, October 29, 1998
Clinton and the Titanic
Note: Yes, I'm breaking my 'Titanic' rule,
but for today only.
Top 10 Similarities Between The Presidency and "Titanic"
10.
TITANIC is the story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a
subsequent catastrophe.
CLINTON is the story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a
subsequent catastrophe.
9.
TITANIC's "villain", White Star Line. CLINTON's "villain" Ken Starr.
8.
Jack is a starving artist. Bill is a B.S. artist.
7.
In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar. Ditto for Bill.
6.
During their ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Ditto for Monica.
5.
During their ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Ditto for Monica.
4.
Jack teaches Rose to spit. Bill . . . let's not go there.
3.
Rose throws her jewelry into the sea. Monica returns her gifts to Currie.
2.
When trouble hits, the rats desert the shinking ship.
1.
Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Bill goes home - to Hillary.
[Submitted by Glen Fisher, glen.fisher@disc.com.au,
editted for format. Entry #2 by cjburke@io.com]
Thursday, October 29, 1998
Blast Off for Glenn
Considering that John Glenn stood firmly opposed to female
astronauts for so long, perhaps Jim Henson Productions will make
a documentary of today's lift-off entitled,
Chauvinist Pigs in Space.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Wednesday, October 28, 1998
Halloween's Coming
First Lady Hillary Clinton has been so busy globe-trotting
lately that she hasn't had the time or energy to put together
a Halloween costume. So she decided to just grab a broom
and be herself.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Tuesday, October 27, 1998
Paula in the Backseat?
Newly-dislosed records in the Paula Jones sexual harassment case
revealed that the Clinton team found a man who allegedly claims that
Paula Jones once performed oral sex on him in the backseat of his car.
Everyone in the Jones camp claims its false, but a Clinton spokesman
said, "Of course, it's true. Why do you think the President invited
her up to that room in the first place?"
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Monday, October 26, 1998
Gore in an Uproar!
Al Gore, on the campaign trail, went on an environmental
tirade yesterday.
It seems an aide informed him that some Jets had just mauled
a 44-year-old Falcon.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
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