THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Loose Lips, Chutzpah, etc.
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, November 20, 1998
Waters on Perjury
Last night, Rep. Maxine Waters was worried that Ken Starr may have
committed perjury. The President's lawyers, however, countered that
it wasn't because Starr
was only testifying about testimony about sex and everyone's supposed
to lie about that.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Did anyone else wonder why Barney Frank didn't just come out and
ask Starr "Tell me, sir, do you still beat your wife?"
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Wednesday, November 18, 1998
Loose Lips
After hearing the "girl talk" Tripp-Lewinsky tapes, the President
was asked how he could carry on with a young woman when, as the old
adage goes, "loose lip sinks ships". The President,
however, fell for the other adage "loose slips slip off the hips while
her lips nip at the tip."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Tuesday, November 17, 1998
The New Definition of Chutzpah
Once upon a time, the "definition" of chutzpah was a guy
who murdered his parents and throws himself on the mercy of the court
because he's an orphan.
In Washington, D.C. these days, chutzpah refers to Democrats
who insist that the Impeachment Hearings focus solely on the allegations
of Clinton's sexual misdeeds and then complain "It's only about sex."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Monday, November 16, 1998
Don't Cross Me Again
The New York Daily News today had the following
Clinton quote for its front page
headline: DON'T CROSS ME AGAIN!
Which the President, co-incidentally, uttered at the same time
that the Justice Dept mentioned that it was invistigating Judge Starr.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Gore in an Uproar, Part III
This Just In: V.P. Al Gore has learned that some Cowboys stampeded
over some defenseless Cardinals yesterday. Yet another reason to
strengthen environmental controls.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
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