THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Hitchcock, Pardons and the LaBella Memo

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Thursday, December 3, 1998


What's in the LaBella Memo

Judge Norma Johnson has ruled that two lawyers will be allowed to review secret documents, including the unedited LaBella memo to Reno, and report back to Hyde and Conyers with their findings.
Among the secrets in the deleted portions:

5. Unlimited expense account at Mr. Tang's.
4. "How much for just the guidance system?"
3. "I'll throw in a booster rocket for a pu pu platter and some dim sum."
2. Clinton's cunning plan to create one billion new Asian voters.
1. The President actually ordered three for Column A and only one from Column B.
[cjburke@io.com]

Wednesday, December 2, 1998


Favorite Hitchcock Movie

Q: What is Bill Clinton's favorite Hitchcock movie?
A: The 39 Schtupps.
[cjburke@io.com]

Tuesday, December 1, 1998


Defining Sex

The President's response was "legally accurate":
Oral Sex is not Sex.
And Carnation Pink is not Pink.
[cjburke@io.com]

Monday, November 30, 1998


Presidential Pardon?

President Clinton granted a pardon to the Thanksgiving Turkey.
I didn't think that a president was permitted to pardon himself.
[Submitted by ashleyharrington@worldnet.att.net]


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