THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Christmas Gifts, Waxy Buildup and the China Connection

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Wednesday, December 30, 1998


Parental Warning Sticker: Today's joke may be naughty.
The China Connection

Calfornia Representative Christopher Cox has announced that his committee has finished their work looking into the China Connection scandal. The report threatens to be a blockbuster, and if it is, given the nature of this administration, it would be highly ironic if the President was brought down by Cox.
[cjburke@io.com]

Tuesday, December 29, 1998


All He Got For Christmas...

Did you hear that Santa couldn't leave anything for President Clinton? He had hung up fishnet stockings and everything kept falling out.
[cjburke@io.com]

But, seriously, folks. Obviously, the President got the goodies, so allow me to present:

The Top Five Christmas Gifts Bill Clinton Received

5. A black-lace teddy from the Victoria's Secrets catalogue . . . with the model still inside it.
4. A lifetime subscription to Cigar Aficianado
3. Barney Frank's re-election and Schumer's election to the Senate.
2. Gag gift: "I've Been Impeached and All I Got was this Lousy T-Shirt" T-Shirt
1. A reason -- any reason -- to bomb Iraq!
[cjburke@io.com]

Monday, December 28, 1998


Wax Buildup?

True story: According to a recent news story, the folks at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum have a problem. The museum, known for its realistic depictions of famous people has a realistic problem with one of its figures in Sydney, Australia. Reportedly, visitors get close to take souvenir photos and when they've left, President Clinton's zipper is undone. Curators hoped they have solved the problem by sewing the zipper shut.
If only the problem in Washington were so easily solved.
[cjburke@io.com]

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