THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Buffalo, Buildings, Bosses and King

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, January 22, 1999


Soaring Like An Internet Stock

Sam Donaldson compared President Clinton to a soaring Internet stock. I have to agree with the comparison.
Consider that both are highly overvalued, their popularity defies common sense, and in one weak moment or sign of bad news, both will take nose dives.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


Thursday, January 21, 1999


Clinton Goes to Buffalo

President Clinton, after giving away the surplus on tons of new programs Tuesday night, went to Buffalo yesterday with the First Lady and V.P. Gore. Among the many promises, he promised that if they stuck with him, he'd get them a Super Bowl victory.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Ever the daredevil, President Clinton planned a Niagara Falls (that Niagara with a "N") outing, yesterday. It seems that he wanted to try going over the falls riding Al Gore.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


Wednesday, January 20, 1999


Naming a Building for Clinton

It has been a common practice of the U. S. Government to name buildings, parks, and other properties after former Presidents. Just recently the CIA building was named after former President George Bush, one-time CIA Director. Hoover Dam was named for Herbert Hoover. With this in mind, what do you think would be the appropriate governmental property to be named after William Jefferson Clinton?
The William Jefferson Clinton Center for Disease Control.
[Gerard Stuckart, hypereng@flash.net]


Tuesday, January 19, 1999


Who He's Working For

Bill Clinton, at a rally last week:
"We showed up for work every day. And we remembered who we were working for."
That would be the Chinese...
[Scott Swett, saswe@erols.com]

A Chelsea Joke

Note: Over the last two-and-a-half years, this page has refrained from making Chelsea the butt of any jokes. Not out of any allegiance to Hillary, who proclaimed Chelsea "hands off", but because there was so much material elsewhere, who needs to take a cheap shot? Besides, no one treats her worse than her own dysfunctional family, who trot her out when they need the photo op.
That has not stopped me from using Chelsea in a joke to make fun of her father. So, enjoy...

Chelsea was home from college for her holiday break recently, and Hillary sat her down for a woman-to-woman heart-to-heart talk.
"I'm just wondering," asked Hillary, "If you've had sex while you've been away at school."
"Well", replied Chelsea, "Not according to dad."
[Submitted by a half dozen readers or so]


Monday, January 18, 1999


Martin Luther King Day

Everywhere else, you'll read the words of what Dr. King said. Here you can read the words that he didn't say . . .

"I had a dream when all men were judged not by the color of their skin, but on the content of their character . . .

"Unless ... they can't get into good colleges and need standards lowered to accommodate them.

"Unless ... they are underrepresented in certain lines of industry and need quotas to prop them up.

"Unless ... they are in trouble with the law and they can blame it on society.

"Unless ..."
[Submitted by C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


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