THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Super Bowl, Groundhog's, Victoria's Secret, Playboy and Getting It
Over With
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, February 5, 1999
"Take the Vote and Get It Over
With!"
Yesterday, while the impeachment trial progressed,
a heckler in the Senate gallery shouted out, "God Almightly!
Will you take the vote and get it over with already?"
Chief Justice Rehnquist responded by banging his gavel and saying,
"Mr. President, if you don't sit down immediately, I'll have you ejected."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Thursday, February 4, 1999
Victoria's Secrets Cuts Through the
Web
The World Wide Web grinded to a halt last night as surfers around
the country tried to zero in on the Victoria's Secret Lingerie Internet
Show. According to the few critics who were able to access the web site,
the show was a bust -- and they weren't refering to the model's figures.
One is quoted as saying, "it was like amateur porn with really
good-looking women." Still, the critic didn't feel it was a total
loss, adding, "But I think I saw something that I might buy for Hillary."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Note: the first half of the above quote actually came from
Wired magazine contributing editor David Bennahum, whom
I hope doesn't mind contributing to the joke. Thanks, David.
Wednesday, February 3, 1999
News from Playboy
This just in: Playboy has announced its newest
special feature video: Girls of the Clinton White House.
[Submitted by C. J. Burke]
Janet Reno does NOT make an appearance.
[C. J. Burke]
News from New York
At an appearance in New York yesterday, President Clinton thanked
his fellow Democrats for all their support over the years. He also
said that in the future when he visits New York, he might just be the
guy who is accompanying Senator Hillary.
Yeah. Like she's going to keep him around.
[C. J. Burke]
Tuesday, February 2, 1999
Puxsatawny Bill
President Clinton woke up this morning and saw his intern.
That means six more weeks of impeachment.
[C. J. Burke]
Monday, February 1, 1999
Super Bowl Blowout
Referees at the Super Bowl in Miami last night rejected calls to
end the game after the third quarter.
A spokesman for the Denvercrats said, "the points aren't there
for the Falcons, it's obvious they aren't going to be there for the
Falcons. Let's just end this, so we can all go home."
But a spokesman for the NFL responded, "we must obey the rule
of football."
[Submitted by C. J. Burke]
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