THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Post-Impeachment President's Week
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, February 19, 1999
The Post-Impeachment Beverage of Choice
Did you hear what impeached president Bill Clinton did after his
victory dance after last week's acquittal by the Senate?
He passed out cigars!
[C. J. Burke]
Thursday, February 18, 1999
The Post-Impeachment Beverage of Choice
Did you hear what they're drinking on Air Force One to celebrate
the impeached president's victory in the Senate?
Hemp Beer, made with real hemp seeds.
Seriously. This isn't a joke. It's a true story. Sometimes
I just can't live up to the President's standard of humor.
The beer was consumed on a flight back from Mexico.
Seriously.
And Mexico is being re-certified as cooperating with the US in
its anti-drug efforts.
Seriously.
And Bill Clinton is still the president.
Whoa! way too serious. Maybe the rest of the country needs that
hemp beer.
Nah. Looking at the polls, I'd say a good part is already on it.
[C. J. Burke]
Wednesday, February 17, 1999
Clinton and Reagan
| Reagan |
Clinton |
| "Tear down this wall!"
|
Went to visit the Great Wall |
| Beat the Soviet Union in the Cold War
|
Went to the Soivet Union during the Cold War
|
| Unpeeled bananas for his co-star. |
Unpeeled his banana for . . .
let's not go there. |
| Unfortunately suffering from memory loss in recent
years. |
Conveniently suffering from memory loss in recent
years, particularly about the meanings of "alone" and "is". |
| Loved by many for many years. |
Loves many for fifteen minutes each.
|
[C. J. Burke]
My apologies to anyone offended by my mentioning of Reagan and Clinton in
the same sentence. Yeech! I did it again.
Tuesday, February 16, 1999
Clinton and Nixon
| Nixon |
Clinton |
Let me make one thing perfectly clear
I am not a crook. |
Let me make one thing perfectly clear
I am not a crook. |
I have to get back to doing the work
the people elected me to do. |
I have to get back to doing the work
the people elected me to do. |
I resign the presidency
effective noon tomorrow. |
Not bloody likely. |
The biggest difference, of course, is that Nixon was popularly elected
by a landslide (carrying 49 states in 72). Clinton wasn't popular enough
to gather a simple majority, which slows that the whole thing was a big
mistake that should never have happened (to use Chuck Schumer's logic).
[C. J. Burke]
Monday, February 15, 1999
Clinton and Kennedy
| Kennedy |
Clinton |
Ask not what your country can do for you
Ask what you can do for your country |
Ask not what your president can do for you
Ask when you can do your president.
|
Ask not what your country can do for you
Ask what you can do for your country |
Ask not what your president can do for you
Ask when you can do your president.
|
[C. J. Burke]
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