THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Ski Vacations, Barbara Walters and Gloria Gaynor
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Thursday, March 4, 1999
Who Will Survive?
Gloria Gaynor appeared at a Bill Clinton fundraiser last night and
sang "I Will Survive", her personal anthem about a lowdown weasel of a
man who uses and abandons her and then tries crawling back to her.
Am I the only one who sees the irony is that dedication?
[C. J. Burke]
Wednesday, March 3, 1999
Monica's Secrets Revealed!
(That could be one of the shortest books ever written.)
The Top Ten Secrets Revealed in the Barabra
Walters Interview
10.She's a pig.
9.He's a bigger pig.
8.She felt she was treated like an old Big Mac
wrapper.
7.They often did it on top of old Big Mac wrappers.
6.He had the TV raised so he could see over her
hair.
5.She felt safe with Bill because he had had the
mumps
when he was a child and that had left him sterile.
4.If the President played hockey, he wouldn't need a
stick.
3.Bill promised that he would leave Hillary for
Monica and
never, ever cheat again.
2.He'd start each session with, "Please kneel for
the
presidential staff."
1.She wasn't the only one wearing thong underwear.
[C. J. Burke]
Tuesday, March 2, 1999
Oh, That's Why He Left
Updating yesterday's joke (see below), now we know why he cut short
his vacation. Because on the Utah slopes, they don't like rapists and
they don't take expired American Express.
[C. J. Burke]
Monday, March 1, 1999
Top Five Reasons Clinton Cut His Ski Vacation Short
5. McDonald's triple-cheeseburger available for a
limited time only.
4. All of Chelsea's college girlfriends left, too.
3. He needed to get a snowpack for Juanita's lap
back before it melted.
2. Had to declare war -- NOW!
1. He wanted to get away for the skiing protestors,
shouting "Do the Bono!"
[C. J. Burke]
Then again, maybe he's back in the warroom, preparing for the
next rape victim to speak out. Or maybe he's getting ready to resign.
Bwha-ha-ha-ha-ha... oh, man, that was a good one.
Click here for an important note.
Prev Joke | Next Joke
This page, and all the pages it has links to, are Copyright
1996-1999 Christopher J. Burke. All rights reserved.
Clinfinition and Hillaryous are
trademarks of C. J. Burke's Bill Clinton Joke-of-the-Day Page.
Some of the images seen in these pages originated at the White House home
page. Visit them at http://www.whitehouse.gov.