THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Rats in Washington, Exotic Dancers in Florida, Hillary in NYC,
O.J., Gore, Earth Day and Secretaries Week
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, April 23, 1999
Top Five Reasons Hillary Was
Turned Down for a NYC Apartment
5. Noisy pajama parties with gossip columnist Cindy
Adams.
4. Wanted to pay the rent in cattle futures.
3. Afraid she'd take over the co-op board and
institute
a new health plan "for the children".
2. Bill's down in the laundry room asking women
"Do you mind if I dry my boxers with your briefs?"
1. The board told her if it takes a village, go live
there!
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Thursday, April 22, 1999
Earth Day, Secretaries Week and
"Take Your Daughter to Work Day"
Today is
Take Your Daughter to Work Day and
Secretaries Week.
Are we sending our daughters the wrong message?
Q: How are they celebrating take your daughter to work day
in the White House?
A: As far away from the president as possible.
Q: How did Clinton celebrate the convergence of the three
special days?
A: He rolled around in the Rose Garden with his secretaries'
daughters.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com, with thanks to
Bruce O'Brien, B.A.OBRIEN-ARCHITECT@worldnet.att.net, for pointing out
that April 22 is such a busy day.]
Wednesday, April 21, 1999
Florida Needs Exotic Dancers
Florida has a shortage of exotic dancers, so much so that club
owners want to import foreign dancers. But before they can, the state
of Florida must prove that there is in fact a shortage of American
exotic dancers and has started advertising for women to fill those
positions.
In other news, impeached President Clinton has cancelled his
upcoming fundraising trip to Florida.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Gore Needs Groupies
Sagging in the polls even as his president's numbers soar aloft,
Al Gore is trying to reimage himself more like Clinton. His first
step is to round up a bunch of loose women to be associated with and
rumored about.
The Secret Service has dubbed these women the Gore Whores.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Tuesday, April 20, 1999
The 33rd Deployment
Now that impeached President Clinton has deployed U.S. armed forces
to more theaters than every unimpeached president from Truman to Bush,
a new word has been coined to describe the former peace protester:
billigerent.
[Edited from a suggestion from
Jack Helmstetter,loc@exit109.com]
O.J. Gets Mugged
O. J. Simpson is annoyed that many people believe that his recent
mugging on the golf course was just a ploy to get attention and sympathy.
In other news, Bill Clinton was mugged on the golf course yesterday...
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Monday, April 19, 1999
Washington's Rat Problem
News Item: The Washington Post
is reporting on a rodent problem in the nation's capital, the infestation
in parts of the city of "rats as large as cats".
And sometimes they grow as large as politicians.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
This might be a good place to plug the book
Year of the Rat. Excellent and insightful
reading.
Click here for an important note.
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