THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Cinco de Mayo, Ladies of Spain, Amy Fisher, Job Satisfaction
and Out of Ammo?
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, May 7, 1999
Bankruptcy Legislation and Court
Costs
Earlier this week, new legislation that made it harder to
wipe out debts by declaring bankruptcy swept through the House
despite a threatened veto by the impeached president.
Meanwhile, Paula Jones lawyers have told Clinton that they
expect him to pay their fees of $300,000 on top of the $1200 that
Judge Wright billed him for her travel.
Hmmm, any thoughts on how Clinton might wipe out that debt?
[submitted by an anonymous user at boeing.com]
Thursday, May 6, 1999
Amy Fisher to Get Out of Prison
Famed Long Island Lolita, Amy Fisher, is set to be released from
prison as soon as next week. Fisher's infamy began when she slept
with Joey Buttafuoco and then shot his wife, Mary Jo, in the head.
Impeached President Bill Clinton is considering inviting her
to the Oval Office for a Get Out of Jail celebration.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Wenesday, May 5, 1999
Cinco de Mayo
Q: How did Bill Clinton celebrate Cinco de Mayo?
A: He only hit on women named Margarita.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Ladies of Spain
News item: ABC Radio reported this morning that five women
in Madrid, Spain protested NATO's bombing of Yugoslavia by stripping
off their clothes in public.
In a related story, impeached President Clinton has stated that
he'll consider their protest and is trying to arrange a meeting for
the ladies to present their "argument".
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Tuesday, May 4, 1999
Out of Ammo? Empty Launchers?
With Bill Clinton's war effort floundering as his missiles are depleted
and new missiles not to be found for several years,
he has gone back to doing things the old fashioned way, calling up some
old B-52s, which aren't as sophisticated.
An embarrassed Clinton remarked, "I feel like Bob Dole
before the Viagra."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Monday, May 3, 1999
Clinton's Job Satisfaction
A Columbia University phone survey found more people found a
satisfying sex life "important" or "very important" to them than those
who found a job satisfaction "important" or "very important". Luckily
for Bill Clinton he gets to enjoy both at the same time.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
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