THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

China, Guns, Jesse, Slobo and the First Lady

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, May 14, 1999


China Didn't Steal Anything

The People's Republic of (Communist) China would like everyone to know that they DID NOT steal any secrets from the United States.
They were bought and paid for.
[cjburke@io.com]


Thursday, May 13, 1999


Clinton and Gun Control

Impeached President Bill Clinton was upset that even in the wake of the horror in Littleton, the Senate voted down many provisions of his proposed Gun Control legislation.
Clinton wondered how he could take over the country if private citizens still owned guns.
[cjburke@io.com]

When Guns are outlawed, only the Government will have Guns!

And Clinton still believes that the best way to protect people from gun violence is to make sure that the victims are totally disarmed.
[cjburke@io.com]

I am NOT making this up

Washington watchers and Clinton commentators have been anxiously awaiting the release of the Cox report about the leaks in our national security. The report is known by the name of the man who heads the committee, Rep. Christopher Cox (R-Ca). Though I, of all people, should be paying more attention to the details, I just ran across the name of the ranking Democrat on the committee, Rep. Norm Dicks (D-Wash).
Yes, gentle readers, the truth about Clinton's security gaffes shalled be revealed by Cox and Dicks.
[cjburke@io.com]


Wednesday, May 12, 1999


Jesse and Slobo

Jesse Jackson stated that his reason for shaking hands and attempting to negotiate with Slobodan Milosevic was that he was following Jesus' example that in order to save a sinner he must mingle with the sinners.
Immediately after making that statement Jackson proceeded to the White House.
[JJDELHI@aol.com]


Tuesday, May 11, 1999


China and Belgrade

The Chinese are so mad at the U.S. over the bombing of their embassy that are seriously thinking of asking Bill Clinton to refund all of their campaign contributions.
[bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com]

U.S. Ambassador Sasser in China, trapped in the U.S. Embassy in Beijing, has started shredding documents. Fortunate that he learned from the best. Hillary taught him how to shred.
[bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com]

For someone who promised to build a bridge to the 21st century, Clinton sure likes to blow up bridges.
[bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com]

Bill Feeney's Floodlight Findings.


Monday, May 10, 1999


Surrogate First Lady

Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has suggested that if First Lady Hillary Clinton decides to launch a senatorial bid in New York State, she may "step down" as First Lady and delegate her First Lady responsiblities to a surrogate First Lady.
Bill Clinton loved the idea and many names immediately came to mind. However, Hillary had to remind her husband that that hasn't been one of her "duties and responsibilities" for years.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


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