THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Presidential Pay Raise, Retirement, Charlton Heston Gun Jokes
and Hillary in New York (parts I & II)
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, May 28, 1999
Hillary in New York, Part II
The carpetbagger issue may or may not hurt Hillary Clinton as
she decides to run for the Senate in New York. Proponents of the
First Lady point to the fact that Robert F. Kennedy ran successfully
for a New York Senate seat.
Opponents are likely to point out: "Hillary, you're no Bobby
Kennedy."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
I've been wanting to use a line like that for 11 years now!
Thursday, May 27, 1999
Hillary in New York
"... since I do plan to
live in New York no matter what I end up doing ...", Hillary Clinton
Many noticed that Mrs. Clinton, during her 60 Minutes II
interview, kept using the word "I" and not "we" when refering to her
future plans which led many to wonder if those plans include Bill.
Top Five Answers to the Question: Will Bill Still Be
There?
5. It depends on what the meaning of "I" and "we"
is.
[chdove@home.com]
4. Of course Bill's going to NYC. Hillary will be
in DC!
3. The Upper West Side wants him. Arkansas doesn't.
2. Bill will definitely go to New York --
best lap dances around.
1. They'll both share a condo with Eleanor Mondale.
[dagalagas@yahoo.com]
[assembled and edited by cjburke@io.com]
Wednesday, May 26, 1999
Heston Gun Quotes
The Top Five Charlton Heston Gun Quotes!*
*No, he didn't actually say these, but maybe he should.
5. Those who live making new gun laws will
die
with the gun laws.
4. The NRA is made out of people! It's people!
3. Let my pistols go!
Let go. Get off. You
can't have them. They're mine. Let go.
2. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's rifle.
1. Get your stinkin' paws off my guns, you damn
dirty apes!
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Tuesday, May 25, 1999
Presidential Pay Raise
Congress is considering a plan to double the salary earned by the
President of the United States, a $200,000 hike to $400,000.
This met with instant approval from impeached President Clinton.
"It's long overdue especially considering the price of really fine
cigars."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
And since Monica let him, he's had to pay for other
entertainment, I'd imagine.
Monday, May 24, 1999
The Next Job for a Retired
President?
Impeached President Clinton was offered a faculty position at
Grambling University, a historically black university in Louisiana.
Since the school couldn't match the salary offers of other institutionals
of higher learnings, Clinton was instead offered all the gumbo,
jamabalaya, crawfish, collard greens, sweet potato pie and ham that
he could eat.
It seems that someone informed university president Steve A. Favors
that the way to get to Clinton was through one of his organs.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Can anyone imagine Bill Clinton working for Favors?
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