THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Memorial Day, Teeny Beanie Babies and the Brain from Planet Clinton

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, June 4, 1999


The Brain From Planet Clinton

Senator wannabe Hillary Clinton was in New York City again, this time to give the commencement address at CUNY's City College. She campaigned for more money for early education, saying that funding is needed for "the early critical years when a child's brain is literally being formed."
Meanwhile, she's still standing behind her husband's decision to allow doctors stick puncture that literally forming brain and suck it out into a sink.
Apparently, Hillary's education didn't include the definitions of the words "literally" and "irony".
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


Thursday, June 3, 1999


Teeny Beanie Babies Back at McDonald's

The latest round of Teeny Beanie Mania has hit McDonald's Restaurants as collectors crowd the franchises.
Recently, Impeached President Clinton was spotted running into a Beltway Golden Arches in a frenzy and asked for 20 cheeseburger Happy Meals.
The woman behind the counter asked Mr. Clinton, "Which Beanie Babies would you like, sir?"
The impeached president replied, "Beanie babies?"
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


Wednesday, June 2, 1999


Clinton's Memorial Day Celebration

Impeached President Clinton was torn this past Memorial Day with the need to be seen honoring the military he loathes and having a big backyard barbecue, but he was able to find a fitting compromise.
He decided to grill some ribs over the Eternal Flame.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


Monday, May 31, 1999

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!

To all the men and women who served bravely,
to all the boys who went away and came back men,
to all the men who didn't come back
to all those who fought for my right to speak my mind
whenever and however I needed to,

THANK YOU

What is a Veteran?


Click here for an important note.



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