THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Austin Powers, New Holiday, Safe Distance and the "Legacy" President

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Thursday, June 17, 1999


The "Legacy" President

To distinguish presidents, we like to stick a moniker on them, some descriptor that sums up their time in office. Something like, the "Education President" or the "Decifit President" or the "Proliferation President". My guess for Bill Clinton?
The "Vice" President.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


Wednesday, June 16, 1999


Safe Distance from Bill

V.P. Gore is expected to announce his candidacy for the U. S. presidency today. In planning the announcement, Gore's handlers suggested that he try to distance himself from the impeached president and all his problems. The Veep asked how far he should go.
"That depends," the aide replied. "Do you prefer kangaroos or penguins?"
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


Tuesday, June 15, 1999


"New" National Holiday

Impeached President Bill Clinton is very tired today. It seems that someone marked up his calendar and he mistakenly thought yesterday was "Shag" Day.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

... and when he found out his mistake, he signed an Executive Order renaming it.


Monday, June 14, 1999


Austin Powers

Impeached President Bill Clinton was among the many moviegoers who saw the new "Austin Powers" movie.
And I hear that after the movie, he bought a new shag carpet for the Oval Office.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

V.P. Al Gore is worried about the popularity of "Austin Powers". Of course, he thinks it refers to Texas governor George W. Bush.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


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