THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Clinton Graffiti, Gore's Reading, Hillary's Vacation Activities and Whats Up at Dreamworks

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Thursday, June 24, 1999


Dreamworks Going Under?

There are news reports that Dreamworks, the Spielberg-Geffen-Katzenberg studio, is having financial troubling and the partners will soon decide whether or not to scrap the whole thing.
Bill Clinton is devastated. That means he'll soon be out of two jobs.
[Submitted by C. J. Burke]


Wednesday, June 23, 1999


More Clinton Graffiti

Note: I'm updating this page despite being away on a business trip (totally unrelated to this page). I dined last night at a fine establishment where the patrons seemed to take pride in their creative writing as displayed over nearly every square inch of the men's room walls. I didn't hang around long enough to read it all -- it was a men's room, for Pete's sake -- but some of the stuff was fun even if somewhat old. I was surprised that much of it had a low gross-out factor and the crudeness level was minimal. But one fine piece of poetry reminded me of our dear impeached president, so I present it here today.
This is
NOT an invitation for everyone to follow suit with their favorite graffiti.

She offered her honor.
He honored her offer
All night long
It was honor and offer.


[Submitted by C. J. Burke]


Tuesday, June 22, 1999


Gore's Reading Material

Afraid that Republicans will use his own Earth in the Balance against him to label Al Gore the real "extremist" in this race, V.P. Gore has decided to read everything he can on GOP candidates. So far, he's gathered a large stack of magazines, mostly Forbes and "W".
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


Monday, June 21, 1999


Clinton's Vacation

The folks in Martha's Vineyard can breathe sighs of relief because it appears that the Clintons will not invade there on vacation this summer. It seems that the Clintons feel that potential New York voters might get confused at seeing their newest Yankee fan recreating elsewhere.
So potential New York spots are being checked out that aren't too trendy and that won't aggrevate the impeached president's allergies. "Sources" say one spot in the running is Shelter Island.
A better, more fitting spot for these two might be Riker's Island.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Top Five New York Vacation Activities for the Clintons

5. Apple picking -- picking the Big Apple clean of all big donations.
4. Hiking -- we'd all love it if the two of them would take a hike.
3. Going over Niagara in a barrel.
2. Camping in the woods -- it's like being surrounded by thousands of Al Gores.
1. Sailing up the Hudson without a paddle.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]


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